Last Call For Rand Paul, Responsible Guy

Glad to see that my junior senator is representing the Bluegrass State well by using his medical knowledge to not senselessly spread fear and misinformation about the Ebola virus.

Oh wait, I was confusing Rand Paul with "not an asshole".

Sen. Rand Paul said Wednesday that experts and government officials are downplaying the Ebola threat, and he speculated whether the U.S. may end up with a "whole ship full" of American soldiers infected with the virus. 

In two interviews the Kentucky Republican and ophthalmologist suggested that the U.S. consider canceling flights from affected countries, and that the border with Mexico is not secure enough to keep infected individuals out. 

Speaking to conservative talk radio host Laura Ingraham, Paul questioned whether the Obama administration should carry out its plan to send 3,000 troops to Ebola hot zones in Africa. 

"You also have to be concerned about 3,000 soldiers getting back on a ship. Where is disease most transmittable? When you're in a very close confines on a ship, we all know about cruises and how they get these diarrhea viruses that are transmitted very easily," he said. "Can you imagine if a whole ship full of our soldiers catch Ebola?"

It's funny that Mr. Libertarian here seems to be implying we need to implement heavy militarization of our borders and military quarantine procedures, or that somehow thousands of Americans are going to come back to the states and vomit Ebola all over everyone.  Maybe we should institute national federal martial law just to be safe.  BUT YOU CAN NEVER BE 100% SAFE CAN YOU!?!?!

Also we shouldn't do anything to stop the spread of Ebola in other countries too, because Ebola is the scariest thing ever and you should fear everything.

In a separate interview with conservative talk show host Glenn Beck, Paul expressed concern about the lack of security at the border, saying an insecure "border is not only a danger for national security purposes, it is also a danger for a world-wide pandemic should it occur."

Yep, sure glad Rand Paul isn't just another Republican asshole ruled by fear and ignorance.

Last Call For Hypocrisy General

Republicans really can't help being both crooked as a snake oil salesman and stupid enough to think they'll never get caught, so they're always shocked when they get busted.  Today's contestant: the GOP candidate for Arkansas Attorney General, Leslie Rutledge.

Officials have cancelled the voter registration of Arkansas candidate for Attorney General Leslie Rutledge (R) for being registered to vote in multiple places, according to the Blue Hog Report. 

The implications: "First, for the AG candidate of the party who likes to scream about voter fraud to be registered in two (or three) places at once is ironic and amusing on its own. However, the bigger implication is Article 19, section 3, of the Arkansas Constitution, which states: 'No persons shall be elected to, or appointed to fill a vacancy in, any office who does not possess the qualifications of an elector.'" 

"The qualifications of an elector" include this that the person must be "Lawfully registered to vote in the election."

Reminder: the only voter fraud out there seems to be perpetrated by Republican politicians registering to vote in multiple precincts.  But this time it may cost the GOP a election.  Here's hoping Rutledge's opponent, Democrat Nate Steel, can turn this into an easy win.

We're Hip To The Kids, Man

The College Republicans try to "stay relevant" in the 2014 election with an ad from 1974.

The first ad in a nearly $1 million campaign, "Say Yes To The Candidate," is based on TLC's "Say Yes To The Dress" and compares the Florida gubernatorial candidates to wedding dresses.

The ad opens with a woman explaining that she's on a budget. She first tries on the Republican Rick Scott dress.

"The Rick Scott is perfect," she says. "Rick Scott is becoming a trusted brand. He has new ideas that don’t break your budget."

He's dreamy and listens to records and drives a Dodge Dart.  He may even own a Timex!

The woman's mom prefers the Democratic Charlie Crist dress. She tells her daughter, "It’s expensive and a little outdated, but I know best." 

But of course, the Crist gown "comes with additional costs" like taxes, debt, and tuition increases, and the woman ultimately chooses the Rick Scott. 

CRNC national chairman Alex Smith told the Wall Street Journal that the ads are geared toward experiences young people have every day. 

"How do you reach the generation that has their earbuds in and their minds turned off to traditional advertising?" she said. "It's our goal to start the conversation by presenting ourselves in a culturally relevant way."

Culturally relevant being relative, with dialogue written by by Lifetime.  Also, the entire concept of marriage isn't relative to Millennials at all, especially since  Millennials are getting married far later in life, it at all.  In fact, numbers show 1 in 4 Millennials will never marry.

So why would they be worried about what wedding dress to choose?  Oh yeah, that's what Republicans think women want to be: married to some douchebag like Rick Scott.

StupidiNews!

• Mexican Army troops have arrested alleged drug cartel leader Hector Beltran Leyva in a seafood restaurant in Guanajuato state.
• The grand jury investigating the death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri is itself being investigated for jury misconduct as one juror may have discussed proceedings outside of court.
• White House fence jumper Omar Gonzalez is pleading not guilty and has been ordered to undergo a mental competency review as his lawyer argues the veteran suffers from PTSD.
• Hong Kong police are warning pro-democracy protesters that they will be forcibly removed from government buildings if they try to occupy them as street protests continue.
• Verizon has killed plans to throttle data of unlimited users of cell phones who download more than 5 GB a month after FCC chair Tom Wheeler criticized the move.