Sunday Long Read: Racking Up The Points

Jackson Hole, Wyoming is famous as a ski resort town and home of the Fed's yearly symposium where the government's central bankers hang out with the richest people in the country to talk shop, but there are other attractions to the storied town, namely the National Elk Refuge. The sanctuary serves as a gold mine every spring when the elk bulls shed their antlers, and a new type of hunter emerges on to public lands around the sanctuary looking to really rack up in this week's Sunday Long Read from the New Yorker's Abe Streep.

On the National Elk Refuge, only the staff and local Boy Scouts are permitted to collect antlers, which are sold in an annual auction. But though the elk may eat the refuge’s alfalfa, they don’t have much use for arbitrary jurisdictional boundaries, so they frequently wander onto adjacent public lands, which are managed by the U.S. Forest Service. Each year, on the first of May, those lands open to shed hunters. “You get to put your hands on something no one else has ever touched,” a shed hunter from Minnesota told me. “And then you get to take it home!”

The May hunt is feverish, and occasionally dangerous. It used to begin at midnight, but in 2015 a shed hunter on horseback tried to cross a river and was swept away. The man survived, but the horse drowned. The derby’s start has since been amended to 6 a.m.

On April 30, 2021, shed hunters began arriving in southwest Jackson, at the Teton County Fairgrounds, a designated waiting area twenty-five minutes from where the hunt would take place. They drove trucks with window stickers that said “rise and shed” and “shed life”; some hauled horse trailers. Many of them were locals, while others had come from Utah and Idaho, New York and Wisconsin. Nearly all of them were men, a good number of whom were dressed in camouflage—an unnecessary choice, given that antlers don’t run. But many shed hunters are also proud hunters, and the physical demands of the two sports are similar: both can require endurance in rough, mountainous terrain. Amid thick deadfall in the high country, every root and bleached cow femur can resemble an antler. Some shed hunters use trained dogs; others rely on expensive optics. That afternoon, workers from a cheese-processing plant in Utah played with a spotting scope—a device that can detect sheds from hundreds of yards away. Nearby, a coed group from Kansas was huddled around a pickup truck, where a twenty-seven-year-old Pfizer employee was holding court. He told his friends that he had run more than seven hundred miles in the past nine months to prepare for antler season.

As night approached, people drank beer and prepared to sleep in their cars. Early the next morning, police officers began escorting vehicles to the east end of town, where the road turned to dirt. The cars sped off, dust and headlights creating eerie weather. A man led his horse, yelling, “He’s gonna go like a son of a bitch!” Many of the hunters headed for Flat Creek, a stream running through hills. They raced across the water and ascended into tawny meadows. One rider was bucked off his horse and injured himself. A teen-ager from Montana alleged that someone stole an antler he had spotted first. One of the shed hunters from Kansas saw a bull elk running full tilt, its tongue lolling. “I felt bad for him,” she said later. “You could tell that he’d been pushed by all these people.”

Back on the road, more vehicles kept arriving until the parking line was half a mile long. A few riders returned from the hills, their horses hauling dozens of antlers. Near a red pickup truck with Wyoming plates, a young man was standing by the head of a dead bull. The man, who said that his name was McKay, had found the bull’s carcass in the creek and decapitated it with a knife. “I got lucky,” he said. The bull’s antlers were crooked, or nontypical, which potentially made them more valuable than a normal set—they could be worth several thousand dollars. But he couldn’t leave his trophy unguarded, meaning that his day was essentially finished. “It’s over already,” he said, glumly. “It’s too bad.”

There are more than a million wild elk in North America, mostly clustered throughout the western United States and Canada. Bulls that live in forests of cedar and fir, like those in northwest Montana or in the Canadian Rockies, often color their antlers with deeper shades than those in, say, the deserts of southern Nevada. Elk wandering through old burns can rub against char-covered trees until their antlers are nearly black. Roosevelt elk and tule elk, subspecies found in Oregon and California, respectively, have shorter antlers than Rocky Mountain elk. Nontypical antlers can result from genetics or trauma; an injury to a right rear leg can result in a warped left antler, a discovery that has mystified biologists. “They’re like snowflakes,” Kevin Monteith, a wildlife biologist at the University of Wyoming, said of antlers. “Every one is unique.”

It's certainly better than poaching and killing the elk, but it still can be dangerous. Still, this is a pretty wild story, as there's a whole pile of green to be made on May 1.

It's A Zoo Out There

Something of a tragedy here at the Cincinnati Zoo this weekend as Harambe, one of the gorillas at the zoo's primate enclosure was shot and killed by keepers who were trying to protect a 4-year-old boy who had climbed into the habitat.

The encounter at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden occurred Saturday afternoon when the boy crawled through a barrier and fell into a moat at the facility’s outdoor gorilla center, zoo director Thane Maynard told reporters.

The boy wasn’t seriously hurt in the fall, Maynard said at a news conference, but after he dropped into the enclosure, the gorilla, a 17-year-old male named Harambe, “went down and got him.” The animal grabbed and dragged the child, Maynard said, and that’s why officials determined that the boy’s life was in danger.

“It seemed very much by our professional team, our dangerous-animal response team, to be a life-threatening situation,” Maynard said. “And so the choice was made to put down, or shoot, Harambe. And so he’s gone.”

The 4-year-old boy was taken to a children’s hospital, according to a news release from the zoo. His name was not released.

“It’s a sad day all the way around,” Maynard said. “The right choice was made; it was a difficult choice. We have protocols and procedures, we do drills with our dangerous-animal response team. But we’ve never had a situation like this at the Cincinnati Zoo, where a dangerous animal needed to be dispatched in an emergency situation.”

Zoo employees opted to put down the animal instead of using tranquilizers because in “agitated” situations, it can take time for the drugs to take effect, Maynard said. Harambe also would have had a “dramatic response” to a tranquilizer’s effect, he said.

Maynard praised the workers tasked with handling the incident, saying they had a “tough choice.”

“Because they saved that little boy’s life,” he said. “It could have been very bad.”

The child squeezed into an area where he shouldn't have, getting away from his busy mother, and climbed the wall outside the Gorilla World area. He then fell into the moat surrounding the enclosure, and Harambe dragged the boy out of the water.

That was enough for the keepers to make the call to put the gorilla down.

There's going to be a lot of second guessing here, about if it was the right choice, if the zoo could have done more to protect the enclosure, if the child's mother could have stopped the boy, if the zoo should have had a silverback in the first place.

I don't know the honest answers to these questions, but they need to be answered, I think.

Last Call For Bevin's Cock-Up

As if Matt Bevin needed any more problems being down 20 points to somebody as despised as Mitch McConnell is, he just got caught by Louisville NBC station WAVE reporter John Boel at a rally for cockfighting, a sport that's been illegal in the Bluegrass State for decades, but where the cops all look the other way.

It's not popular to a lot of people in Kentucky. On March 29, "activist cockfighters" were summoned through social media to the Corbin Arena for a meeting to legalize cockfigting. So I put on a cockfighting shirt and went in undercover. The second speaker, American Gamefowl Defense Director Dave Devereaux, spent several minutes explaining why we were here.

"For the sole purpose of legalizing gamecock fighting at the state level," said Devereaux.

The next speaker, in front of more than 700 people, was Republican US Senate Candidate Matt Bevin.

"There is not a cause, there is not an issue, nothing we believe in that we could not bring to fruition if we turn out to vote," said Bevin.

When he was finished, he was asked a direct question.

"Will you vote to support the effort to legalize gamecock fighting in the state of Kentucky?" asked Devereaux.

"I support the people of Kentucky exercising their right, because it is our right to decide what it is that we want to do, and not the federal government's. Criminalizing behavior, if it's part of the heritage of this state, is in my opinion a bad idea. A bad idea. I will not support it," said Bevin, which was met with rousing applause from the crowd.

So when Boel confronted Bevin with the tape of Bevin at the cockfighting rally, he did what any Republican would do.  He lied about it.

We caught up with Bevin at a Louisville campaign stop. He said he didn't know it was a cockfighting rally.

"I don't personally support cockfighting, never been to a cockfight in my life," he said. "If you were there, you can tell, when I was speaking, were you there when I spoke?"

"I was there the whole time," I said.

"I was there to speak about why I'm running for US Senate. That's the same thing I do everywhere I speak," Bevin said.

"When Dave Devereaux got up before you, he said we're here for the sole purpose of talking about legalizing cockfighting in Kentucky. What were you thinking when he said that?" I asked.

"I honestly wasn't even paying attention. I was thinking about what I was going to say. I don't even remember him saying that," Bevin said.

I read him back his comment from the rally: "Criminalizing behavior, if it's part of the heritage of this state, is in my opinion a bad idea."

"You stand behind that?" I asked.

"What I stand behind is people's ability to examine their First Amendment rights to speak about whatever they want to speak about," Bevin said.

 He wasn't paying attention to the fact he was at a cockfighting rally.  Sure.  You know what?  I expect politicians to lie.  But to lie badly, and just pretend the video evidence was somehow not showing Bevin is so desperately losing to an ass like Mitch right now that he's trying to go for the "legalize cockfighting" vote?

That's just insulting.  You know what?  I hope he beats McConnell, because Alison Lundergan Grimes will beat the guy by 30 points after this.  Sadly, McConnell is having the best week he's had in months because of this.

“Matt Bevin’s cockfighting episode will go down in history as one of the most disqualifying moments in Kentucky political history,” McConnell spokeswoman Allison Moore said in a statement. “Twenty years from now, we will all remember the time when the East Coast con-man thought so little of Kentuckians that he pathologically lied to us about absolutely everything until an undercover camera caught him red-handed at a cockfighting rally.”

This is something that even Mitch the Turtle wouldn't stoop to, and that tells you everything you need to know about the hole Bevin is in right now.

Last Call

This should be the point where I post some elaborate April Fools' joke about me selling the blog to raise money to go to New York and profess my undying love for Jennifer Rubin or something, but I got nothing right now other than I hope you didn't buy your kids baby animals for Easter.

Pet horror stories are a staple of the post-Easter season in the United States, day animal control and rescue officials. The Easter holiday brings out the duckling, chick, and baby bunny lovers in people. They make an impulse buy, the recipient goes wild with joy for a day, but the honeymoon soon ends and parents scramble to surrender the animals.

Animal rescue staff, traditionally inundated with calls from regretful parents following Easter, are asking consumers to stop and think before buying an animal for Easter, and with good reason.

If, and it’s a big if, the animal doesn’t die from all that Easter excitement, now there’s a growing and soon-to-be mature duck, chicken (worse, a rooster), and rabbit on your hands.

A pubescent rabbit is not one to cuddle. Females are prone to running in circles, lunging, and grunting, says Anne Martin, shelter director for House Rabbit Society’s headquarters in Richmond, Calif. And if you purchased a male? “The boys will spray urine ... all over the place,” says Ms. Martin, who owns six rabbits and adds that a mature rabbit is a fantastic pet. But they can be quite alarming for a new pet owner whose supplier did not warn them.

Suppliers are also known for selling bunnies that have been taken away from their mothers too soon, says Mary Cotter, vice president of the House Rabbit Society.    

Ducklings and chicks have their own drawbacks, says Susie Coston director of the Farm Sanctuary shelter.

Like bunnies, ducklings and chicks are extremely fragile. If a child plays with them like a toy instead of fine china, they are likely to die from over-handling, Ms. Coston says.

And that's not a joke.

1,000 Pound Pig Saves Gumbo

Three days after a fire blazed through a New Hampshire farm on Sept. 6, the only thing more devastating than the physical damage was the presumed death toll: 14 horses and three cats. 

But if there was someone who hadn't lost hope, it was Colby, the farm's 1,000-lb. pig. 

After breakfast, the Bedford, N.H., Perry Hill Farm mascot, characteristically slow and sluggish, started wandering into the woods nearby. 

"She was on a mission," her caregiver and farm owner Harriet Finks, who followed the pig, tells ABCnews.com. "For her, it was quite a distance." 

The 9-year-old pig, sniffing around the woods, led her caregivers to Gumbo, one of the cats they never found after the fire.

Gumbo survived and is doing well.  He has been reunited with a sibling and other survivors.  Losing so many animals would be devastating, any good news is better than expected.

Last Call

And this right here is a Syfy movie of the week.

A softball-sized eyeball from an unknown creature has washed up on a beach in Florida. According to the Orlando Sentinel, Gino Covacci was taking a morning walk along Pompano Beach when he spotted the blue orb bobbing in the tide.

Placing it in a plastic bag, he walked home and put it into the refrigerator, figuring that it was something unusual.

“It was very, very fresh,” he told the Sentinel. “It was still bleeding when I put it in the plastic bag.”

Covacci contacted police, who directed him to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, who were also stymied as to what animal the eye could have come from.

Wildlife Commission spokesperson Carli Segelson said that wildlife officials packed the eye in ice and forwarded it to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Research Institute in St. Petersburg.

And then whatever it came from shows up and it has 13 more of them.  Only Dean Cain and Kari Wuhrer have any chance against it, because if they fail, humanity is next on the menu!

Yeah, we're boned.

Michael Vick Wins Me Over

I had spoken to Zandar about Vick recently anyway, so this story from TMZ is the perfect chance to speak my mind.  When Vick was found guilty, I was as mad as anyone.  I cried while the story developed, and I was so angry I truly lost sleep over it.

Time went by after Vick got out, and I didn't buy his act.  I was angry, and he hadn't paid enough.  But his actions ever since have been impeccable.  This man learned a lesson.  He did an awful thing, and he came out of it paid in full and a better man.  I believe that, and I had every reason to nurse a grudge.

And then there's this TMZ update:

Michael Vick has finally said squarely ... his family does indeed have a dog.

There's been a lot of controversy over whether Vick -- who served hard time for brutally killing multiple dogs, should own one again.

Vick says, "I understand the strong emotions by some people about our family's decision to care for a pet.  As a father, it is important to make sure my children develop a healthy relationship with animals."

Vick goes on, "I want to ensure that my children establish a loving bond and treat all of God's creatures with kindness and respect.  Our pet is well cared for and loved as a member of our family."

Vick continues, "This is an opportunity to break the cycle.  To that end, I will continue to honor my commitment to animal welfare and be an instrument of positive change."

He is right.  He has shown a truly positive change, sustained over a great length of time.  He is trying to teach his kids better, and you can't do that until you have a pet.  He isn't an ass about the skepticism, he understands it and he speaks frankly about why it's important to break the cycle and do good.  I believe he feels he owes animals some karma.

What say you, readers?  Do you agree, or think he should forfeit his right to pets forever, even for the sake of his kids?

Friday Morning Happygram

Spoiler alert: the kitty is okay.

SAYBROOK, Ill. -- When firefighter Toni Day was handed a tiny tabby kitten covered in second- and third-degree burns through the window of a burning Saybrook home, she wasn’t too optimistic about its chances.

“I didn’t expect her to survive the night,” said the member of the Gibson City Fire Department.

But nearly three weeks later Dutchess is beating the odds in Urbana at the University of Illinois Veterinary Teaching Hospital, bringing hope to a family that lost nearly everything and winning the hearts of people around the world. A campaign that began on Facebook to collect money for her care has raised about $2,900 of its $5,000 goal, but more still is needed to ensure Dutchess receives necessary treatment that her family cannot afford.

“At 5 pounds, I can’t believe she hung on like she did,” owner Jackie Jones, 27, said of her 8-month-old feline. “Isn’t it amazing — being a little bitty tiny thing?”

Dutchess is doing much better, and can even tolerate affection, which would be a big deal for a poor animal who has gone through so much pain.  She is "eating like a champ" and is expected to make a full recovery.  The kindness and generosity of strangers is such a great thing, it seemed like a good way to kick off the pre-weekend celebrations.

Man's Best Friend

Zander, a white samoyed-husky mix, navigated two miles of tricky neighborhoods and across a busy highway to find his owner who was in the hospital, and now he's not leaving his side.

As John Dolan lay in his hospital bed at the Good Samaritan Medical Center in Islip, N.Y., Sept. 27, he got a phone call from a hospital employee that he had to come get his dog. One problem, Dolan was inside the hospital and his wife, Priscilla, was asleep at home.

When Zander and Dolan were finally reunited, they couldn't be happier.

"He's my boy. He's been glued to me ever since," Dolan told "Good Morning America" today.

Dolan called his wife last Thursday to tell her to come get Zander outside the hospital. She didn't know he was missing until she got the call.

While Dolan was in the hospital he was very sad and moping around the house, Priscilla Dolan said. He was missing his best friend.

"He sleeps right next to John and John walks him a lot," Priscilla Dolan said.

It's a surprising story but not unheard of for an animal to track his owner.  Still, John Dolan is a lucky fellow, and I hope that Zander gets to go home with his friend.