Bobbying For Crapples

So on Tuesday, a heavily edited hit video was posted to YouTube, purported to show a Planned Parenthood employee discuss using late-term abortions to harvest baby parts.  Which is kind of odd, since 1) Planned Parenthood doesn't do late-term abortions (only 4 clinics in the US do period) and 2) the video is a screaming fake from the James O'Keefe School Of Complete Horsecrap.

But that's not stopping Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal from using the fake video as an excuse to harass Planned Parenthood and score cheap points.

Gov. Bobby Jindal on Tuesday announced he's directed the Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals to investigate Planned Parenthood activities in the state after a video surfaced that claims the organization is selling fetal body parts. 

The video, which was posted to YouTube by the Center for Medical Progress, shows a woman discussing the harvest of fetal organs and body parts from partial-birth abortions. The Center for Medical Progress identifies the woman as Dr. Deborah Nucatola, who is Planned Parenthood Federation of America's national medical director. 

There was no indication that the video or the activities described in it had ties to Louisiana. But Jindal said he was ordering an investigation in part because Planned Parenthood is planning to open a clinic in New Orleans.

But here's the kicker (and the real reason why Jindal is pretending to believe this nonsense):

The investigation means the $4 million clinic planned for New Orleans will not be able to open because Jindal's order includes suspending the issuance of new licenses by DHH.

So yes, Jindal is a manipulative slimy bastard.  Oh, and where is he getting the money to investigate Planned Parenthood when the state is running a $1.6 billion deficit under his budget?

And he's running for President!?!?

My guess is he won't be for much longer when this blows up in his face.

Last Call For One If By Land, Two If By Crazy

Operation Jade Helm '15 is here! Protect your precious bodily fluids from the government!

Just in time for the Wednesday kickoff of "Jade Helm 15," a YouTube user under the handle Get Right America posted an amazing parody of the breathless, Humvee-tracking conspiracy theorists who are suspicious of the U.S. military training exercise.

The videographer filmed himself driving around the parking lot of a Sam's Club in San Angelo, Texas in a nod to one of the wilder "Jade Helm 15" conspiracy theories about its parent company, Wal-Mart. There, he found a potential hiding spot for "ninjas that can take our guns" and trucks that obviously must belong to the Knights Templar.

It's hysterical stuff.



And yes, this is what the Jade Helm "truthers" sound like to the rest of us: complete nutjobs.

Not So Amazing If You Ask Me

Pro tip:  Things that can be sung to the tune of the theme song of "Gilligan's Island", most of Emily Dickinson's poetry.  Things that cannot be sung well to it?  Amazing Grace.  Take it away, Sen. Ted Cruz!



My soul hurts.  A lot.  I thought I would share the pain.  At first I thought "This guy couldn't carry a tune in a magnetic containment field specifically designed for convenient transport of musical pieces" but apparently the problem is everything sounds like the theme to Gilligan's Island to the guy.

Is there a classification for that affliction?  Cruz Syndrome, perhaps?  Who knows.

Here's What Paul Harvey's Farmers Really Look Like

Dodge had a questionable commercial set to an old Paul Harvey speech during the Super Bowl, depicting the heroic American Farmer.  Only one problem:  today's massive corporate farms have about as much to do with the mythical vaunted family farm as the migrant workers who provide all the labor.

Isaac Cubillos posted his version of the ad, similarly set to now-deceased right-wing radio personality Paul Harvey 1978 speech “So God Made a Farmer.” But instead of images of white male farmers, as featured in Sunday’s Dodge ad (riffed from an already existing YouTube video), but instead featured images of Latinos and Latinas.

Latino rights group Cuéntame also made a similar tribute to immigrant farmers, below.

A 2012 fact sheet released by the National Center for Farmworker Health, based on a Department of Labor survey, estimated that 72 percent of all farmworkers are foreign born. They also estimated that 22 percent of crop workers were female.

Picking your produce is one of the "jobs Americans won't do".  We leave that to immigrant seasonal workers paid less than minimum wage, under the table, with no benefits, and then we complain Latinos are all "lazy takers" who are there to score government money.

Funny how that works.

Three Minutes Well Spent

This hits home for me because it is home for me.

This man says everything we've heard while our city council decides whether gays are people too.  It's hard to listen to him at first, but stick with it.  There's one hell of a twist coming, and I sat right here in my office and applauded.

I proudly share today's sarcasma d'art:

Video Stupidity: Paralyzed Woman Uses Bionic Suit To Walk

"Walking never gets old for me," she says looking at the camera.

Moving is something most of us take for granted.  If we want something across the room, we can hop up and get it.  Some of us even complain at having to expend the energy.  But for someone who can't walk, it's a miracle to be able to move again. 

And The Wind Cried Ashleigh

Apparently Joe Walsh likes addressing media figures by their first name.  A lot.

Tea Party favorite freshman Rep. Joe Walsh (R-IL) took to CNN today to do damage control over his critical remarks about his congressional challenger’s military record. But the appearance quickly went awry, with a frustrated Walsh repeating host Ashleigh Banfield’s name dozens of times as he tried to cut in and speak his mind.

When Banfield asked Walsh if he’d verbally slipped up in saying that opponent Tammy Duckworth—who lost both legs as a result of injuries sustained when an RPG struck her helicopter in Iraq—is not a “true hero” because she talks too much about her military service, Walsh offered no apology but a slight clarification.

“No, Ashleigh, this wasn’t a slip-up. I don’t regret anything I said,” Walsh said. “Understand me. Every man and woman who’s worn the uniform is a hero in my book.”

Walsh blamed the Duckworth campaign for “manufacturing” the story because they’d caught it on tape, though Banfield wouldn’t bite, saying that the comment would have been equally controversial no matter who caught it. As the conversation wound aimlessly around this back and forth, Walsh began repeating, “Ashleigh,” over and over in an attempt to silence the host and return to his talking points in an instance reminiscent of when Michele Bachmann raised her hand and repeatedly called CNN Host Anderson Cooper’s name during a presidential debate last year.

A Huffington Post supercut of the interview shows Walsh saying, “Ashleigh” around 90 times.

By the way, if you think Joe Walsh is kind of a dirtbag for going after double amputee and war heroine Tammy Duckworth like that, clearly you forget how Republicans called Georgia triple amputee and war hero Max Cleland a terrorist sympathizer and Saxby Chambliss won Cleland's Senate seat in 2002.

Joe Walsh is still a deadbeat dad, by the way.  But he's betting he can play the race, gender, and amputee card to win in Congress.

A Little Levity

A kitten was rescued after he was found in the sewer, with his head stuck in a soda can.  Enjoy this testament to what happens when good people come together.

Video Goodness: Surprise Fail

They couldn't have done it any better in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Enjoy!

Bless You!

And here we have a minute of adorable, thanks to YouTube. This kid would love me. I tend to hit double digits when I sneeze.