StupidiNews!

• The search for 4 Coast Guard sailors lost Friday night off San Francisco has been suspended after two days of investigation for the missing craft.
• King Juan Carlos's hunting accident in Botswana has put him in the hospital and the Spanish Royal Family on the front page of austerity-ravaged Spain.
• Mass protests are planned as all three top candidates in Egypt's upcoming Presidential elections have been disqualified by election officials.
• European officials are traveling to the International Monetary Fund seeking more money to combat Spain's growing debt crisis.
• Database giant Oracle finally gets their day in court this week against Google, and there's a lot at stake in the "patent trial of the decade".

Last Call

Everything old is new again as this generation's young Catholic women are rolling out what their distant ancestors used as the new hipster choice in birth control:  "Natural family planning".  Meet Ashley McGuire:

McGuire, 26, of Alexandria, is part of a movement of younger, religiously conservative Catholic women who are trying to rebrand what may be Catholicism’s most-ignored teaching: its ban on birth control methods such as the Pill. Arguing that church theology has been poorly explained and encouraged, they want to shift the image of a traditional Catholic woman from one at home with eight kids to one with a great, communicative sex life, a chemical-free body and babies only when the parents believe the time is right.

The movement sees an opportunity: President Obama’s decision this year to require most religious employers, like employers in general, to provide contraception coverage. The move angered Catholics so much that it cracked open a discussion about contraception that has been largely taboo for decades because there’s so much disagreement about it.

“More priests have given sermons on this in the past few weeks than in the last 50 years,” said Janet Smith, a conservative theologian who teaches at the Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit.

The new movement’s goal is to make over the image of natural family planning, now used by a small minority of Catholic women. But natural family planning, which requires women to track their fertile periods through such natural signs such as temperature and cervical mucus, is seen by many fertility experts as unreliable and is viewed by most Catholics as out of step with contemporary women.

Meet the new phase in the War on Women, folks.  The pill is slavery and if charting your fertility periods was good enough for women before the 1960's, well it's good enough for GCB's like Ashley here.  They're "chemical-free" ladies, you see.  That makes them better than you, and of course if women didn't use the pill, it would just go away, and then we can reframe the argument of whether married women having sex for pleasure is a sin or not (of course it's evil for unmarried women to have sex!)

We've gone from "Should society have to fund the pill as a women's health issue" to "Do REAL Christian women even need the pill?"  One is a policy issue, where Democrats can win.  The other is a morality issue, where Democrats can fight all they want to, but they'll lose to slut-shaming every damn time.  How nice of the Washington Post to accept this reframing of the argument to the absolute benefit of the Austerity Party.

There's a lesson here, but I'm thinking most liberals will miss it.  Just like they'll miss being able to have affordable birth control in a GOP world.

The Girls Are Not Alright

The UK Daily Mail gets into the "Ann Romney is right, real women are stay-at-home moms whose husbands are rich enough to support them staying home" nonsense with a study that shows that the more men are in an area, the more women want to get married.  Shocking, I know.

Forget ambition, financial security and that first-class degree.

A controversial study has concluded that the real reason women pursue careers is because they fear they are too unattractive to get married.

The research team, made up of three women and two men, said that when men are thin on the ground, 'women are more likely to choose briefcase over baby'.

And the plainer a woman is, they claim, the more she is driven to succeed in the workplace.

Central to their argument was the idea that women have evolved to become homemakers and men, providers.

They said this means that when men are scarce in a particular area, women, and particularly less attractive ladies, may decide they need to provide for themselves with a well-paid career.

What the study really means is that women who have had body issues pounded into their heads all their lives that they're not attractive, that they're not valued in society other than as adjuncts for powerful men and as baby factories, tend to buy into the horrible images that society lays out for them. Surprising, I know.

The Daily Mail smugly declares feminism the resort of "unattractive" women who can't find a man, so real women stay at home.

Which is of course the exact opposite of what Mitt Romney said in January.

"I wanted to increase the work requirement,” said Romney. “I said, for instance, that even if you have a child 2 years of age, you need to go to work. And people said, ‘Well that’s heartless.’ And I said, ‘No, no, I’m willing to spend more giving day care to allow those parents to go back to work. It’ll cost the state more providing that daycare, but I want the individuals to have the dignity of work.”

The dignity of work.  Good enough for your family and Michelle Obama.  Not for Ann Romney, who is a "real woman" for not working a day in her life.

Questions?

Kelly Osbourne, Meet The High Road

Read the whole article on People.com.

Don't expect Christina Aguilera to get an apology from Kelly Osbourne. 

The Fashion Police cohost, 27, infamously called The Voice mentor, 31, fat on TV, and she's not retracting any time soon. 

"She called me fat for years," Osbourne, who dropped 50 pounds in 2010, tells Glamour magazine. "I said, 'F––– you, now you're fat, too! ... Now you know how it feels!" 

"I'm sorry," she continues, "but I stand by that." 

And Osbourne would have no problem telling that to Aguilera directly. 

"I make a point on the show never to say anything about anybody that I wouldn't say directly to their face," she says. "I'm famous and she's famous. It doesn't mean I can't stand up for myself. I took it for 10 years, and finally decided to be like, 'You know what? I'm done.' " 

Few things here.  First, are we really still a society where name calling is effective?  I've been called everything from fat in elementary school to a child killer because I'm pro-choice.  Having been called names my entire life, I learned early on that it doesn't change a thing.  The "you did it to me so I'm going to do it to you" mentality is also frightening, and makes Osbourne look like a fat girl who never got over herself.  Which is pretty much on target.

Just because you would say it to someone's face doesn't make it right.  Just because you're on top of things at the moment doesn't mean you squash someone who is having a rough patch.  Aguilera has come a long way, from a trashy teen grabbing headlines to a woman, mother and even activist.  Maybe she has grown up.  Kelly Osbourne sure hasn't.

Yabba Dabba Waitaminute

I was really excited when I learned Seth MacFarlane was going to redo The Flintstones.  It was one of my favorites (I'm old enough to remember Saturday morning cartoons) and there was a certain magic about a big burly guy with a heart of gold, and a loyal friend who joined in every time.  Even as a kid, I realized they missed the chances for some great jokes, most likely due to the time period.  After all, in the 60s television was far more conservative than it is now.  However, it's been put on hold due to MacFarlane's incredibly busy schedule, so the 2013 launch date was pushed back.

MacFarlane hasn't quit on the project, he's just enjoying a streak of good fortune.  Family Guy, American Dad and The Cleveland Show all got picked up for a new season, plus he is working on a project related to Carl Sagan's Cosmos.  I hadn't heard about the latter, but for those who are disappointed there will be new material to watch while we wait for Flintstones to make it to the screen.

Squeal Of Fortuno

It takes about 15 paragraphs to find out why, as with Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, that Puerto Rico's young GOP Governor, Luis Fortuno, has no shot at Romney's veep slot.  None whatsoever.  Let's skip the hagiography and get right to the part where Fortuno gets run out of the party if he's even nominally mentioned:

On immigration, Fortuno advocates strong border security, but has also criticized a proposal by some Republicans to deport 12 million illegal immigrants.

“I support enforcing our laws, securing our borders and comprehensive immigration reform,” Fortuno said. “We must also promote a respectful dialogue on immigration, because too often, the tone and tenor of the public discourse has been counterproductive and pushes away instead of embracing the Hispanic community.”

And all the GOP base will hear is SHAMNESTY.  See, Republicans don't want a respectful dialogue with the Hispanic community.  They want to deport as many of them as they can and drive off the rest, just like they would with African-Americans (and they're happy to just incarcerate us.)

Naah, Luis here has about as much chance as I do of being the veep for Romney.

Last Call

Your political cartoon of the moment:






Gosh, what's a war on women?

A new foster-cat program at the Larch Corrections Center is improving life for inmates and felines alike. Larch, a minimum-security facility near Yacolt, WA, launched the Cuddly Catz program two weeks ago; Cuddly Cats pairs pound-bound cats with inmates who meet certain requirements (did not commit a violent crime against animals or humans; free of prison demerits for at least six months; set to remain at Larch for at least a year after receiving a program cat; and passing an extensive screening process).

The program definitely benefits the inmates. Joey Contreras and Joseph Walter share a ten-by-twelve-foot cell – and charge of Princess Natalie, a long-haired black cat. Contreras noted in an Olympian.com article by Paris Achen that fostering a feline has given him an increased sense of purpose. "When you're doing prison time, you get set in certain ways and forget what it's like to have everyday interactions and be compassionate," Contreras said. "It's a little different when you have an animal depending on you to survive. Animals bring out the best in people."

Compassion and a little love can go a long way in an environment where it is usually banished.   Everyone wins. I wish there were more programs, though the article does say many states have programs like this in the works.  It does us no good if the non-violent moderately well-behaved prisoners aren't given some means to stay in touch with their humanity.  Anything that saves animals is a perk. It would be great if this spreads and gives animals and lonely people a chance to connect and help each other.  The cat mentioned in the article likely would have been euthanized if she hadn't been chosen for this program.  Now she's able to live a happy life, giving and receiving love.

Hold Your Horses, Now

Gay rights organizations are criticizing President Obama for his refusal to sign an executive order forbidding federal contractors from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Obama aides delivered the message to gay rights groups yesterday, saying they want Congress to pass an anti-discrimination law.

"Our organizers and activists are really angry about this," said Heather Cronk, managing director of a civil rights group called GetEqual. "It's really worrisome that the White House is not taking a stand on this."

Okay, the strategy makes sense.  Obama is about to campaign, so it's a good time to pressure and ask questions.  Everyone knows this is a hot button, with Republicans taking a loud stance against gay rights and Dems afraid to touch the subject in some cases.

But guys, give Obama the benefit of the doubt, and if you want to help the cause give him a bit of space.  If he wins a second term and has nothing to fear, I have zero doubt that he is going to put some stupidity in its place. To the utmost of his ability, he has already shown he is in favor of fair treatment and choice for people whenever possible.  By pushing the issue it could force him into arguments that could actually backfire.  Because let's face it, Obama is the best shot many groups have of representation.  Right now it makes sense for him to do his best to prepare for stage two.

After seeing how Republicans attacked him for every single decision he made, in some instances it is simply better that he play it safe.  He has shown no animosity or lack of respect for gays or women, so it's time for us to rally behind him and let him know we're there.  He may not be perfect, but he tries.  He's the best chance we have of climbing out of this mess.

Pressed For Meat, She Meets The Press

All it takes for a bovine revolution is one tasty meat-filled cow escaping from the slaughterhouse and making news.

A 700-pound cow has been spared and sent to the farm after escaping from the slaughterhouse and running down New Jersey highways.

The cow was hit twice by police vehicles during its escape run, then was finally caught after police shot it twice with tranquilizers. The cow is now healthy and lives on Woodstock Farms Animal Sanctuary, where it has been named Mike Jr., after “uber-volunteer” Mike Stura, a volunteer who asked Woodstock to take the cow in.

“All of a sudden I saw a cow running across the street and being chased by police and all, and I said, well I think we have to try and do something about that,” Stura told Fox and Friends Saturday.

Woodstock learned that the after the cow had been captured, it had been transferred to another slaughterhouse, not the “farm” news reports promised. Stura, who has “show mercy for animals” tattooed on his arms, convinced owners to release the cow to Woodstock, which assures, “He will never end up at the end of a fork!”

There's something about the bond between man and cow, you know.  Here's to Mike Jr, the luckiest cow in New Jersey.

Getting Serious On Syria, Part 6

The UN is finally moving on Syria, with the Security Council unanimously approving an immediate observer mission to monitor all aspects of the tenuous cease fire in the country.

The resolution calls on Syria to allow the deployment of an advance team of up to 30 international observers and give them unimpeded freedom of movement.

It also calls on all parties to cease armed violence.

Russia's ambassador Vitaly Churkin said Moscow, which has previously blocked U.N. Security Council resolutions on Syria, was satisfied the text now required all sides to end the violence.

"There have been too many casualties, too much suffering to befall the Syrian people," said Churkin.

He warned that the unrest could affect regional peace and stability, describing it as an "extremely critical juncture" and calling on all parties in Syria to refrain from violence.

Security Council President Mark Lyall Grant, of the United Kingdom, said a narrow window existed to improve conditions on the ground.

And the "cease fire" is in name only, as Syria rebels and activists continue to claim that there's plenty of government troops targeting Syrian cities away from prying eyes.  However, it does mean that Russia and China are on board behind the Kofi Annan effort to secure a peace, and that's a major improvement.  We'll see how long this lasts.

The "Moose Aggro Been Filled" War

Sarah Palin, realizing she's a woman, discovers she's eminently qualified to weigh in on the War On Women(tm).  She performs the task with all the subtlety and nuance we've come to expect from her, which is roughly the equivalent of 30 kilotons of nuclear hamsters on crystal meth airdropped into a open-air production of Hedda Gabler on matinee Saturday.  To whit:

Now years removed from crying sexism over “lipstick on a pig,” former politician and current political pundit Sarah Palin appeared on Sean Hannity’s show Thursday night to weigh in on the latest twists in the “war on women” debacle.

Palin read texts and emails she had received from her sister and “apolitical girlfriends” in support of her cause.

“We don’t look to the president to speak for us,” Palin said, adding that she and her fellow “mama grizzlies” are turned off by the “divisiveness represented by Barack Obama and the people he surrounds himself with.”

Palin also claimed, as Republicans had throughout the day, that Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen — whose comments on Ann Romney were widely condemned — is affiliated with the DNC, insisting she “has the ear of the president.”

And really, if it wasn't a chance to finally use that particular title pun based on this film, I wouldn't have bothered with her or this at all.  Sarah Palin quit her job to go grifting, and now believes she represents all American women everywhere, and the President -- her President, our President, of our country -- does not speak for her, because he's just that Kenyan guy.

Hysterical.

Law And Dissed Orders

I can't say that I think Greg Sargent is totally wrong about the President's decision to sandbag on an executive order on preventing federal contractors from discriminating against people based on gender or sexual orientation. He's right when he says the White House is being too cute by half here.

There’s no denying that Obama and his advisers have a very good overall record on gay rights. But on this issue, and on gay marriage — two hugely important topics to the gay community — there’s too little clarity and too much of a whiff of excuse-making and political calculation.

Obama is trapped in a difficult dynamic that is in some ways the product of having done the right thing in other areas involving gay rights. Because of his real accomplishments in those areas, gay advocates are fully convinced he really believes in full equality for gay and lesbian Americans — and only grow angrier and more impatient when he hedges or equivocates on key issues. I can see why White House advisers would find this dynamic frustrating, but the simple truth is that it isn’t going away until he stops doing it.

The problem is the President's slow and cautious (if not downright pragmatic) approach is A) it's slow and frustrating, B) it works in the end. People recognize A and forget B completely, it seems. To his credit, Sargent does admit the whole B thing does exist. But that's the way it has to go with the political dynamic, and it's not like the LGBT community in Washington hasn't played politics to its own advantage, either.

 There's also the very real problem with executive orders: they can get rescinded by future presidents. The next time a Teapublican gets into power, a lot of stuff is going away. This close to an election, that's a factor. I don't like it. I admit it exists. Going bugnuts over it won't change much, either. President Obama will get attacked by the right on LGBT stuff regardless of what he does. He'll also get attacked by a certain section of the left for the same reason. That's politics.

The long arc does bend but it's a pain in the ass to move some times.

StupidiNews, Weekend Edition!

• Mitt Romney will need extra time to file his taxes, as he's filed an extension form for this year.
• The American Nazi Party has a new DC lobbyist, former third party candidate John Knowles.
• An eerie calm continues in Syria as a UN brokered cease fire holds for now.
• Iran will rejoin nuclear program talks in Turkey as crippling US-led sanctions are forcing Tehran to come to the table.
• A group of AT&T iPhone users are suing the carrier for reactivating their stolen phones without checking identities.

Last Call

Newark Mayor Cory Booker.  Full-time Mayor, part time superhero.

Newark, New Jersey, Mayor Cory Booker ran into a burning building Thursday night to help rescue a trapped woman, an act of heroism that sent him to the hospital.

Booker talked about the incident on Twitter.

"Thanks 2 all who are concerned. Just suffering smoke inhalation," Booker tweeted. "We got the woman out of the house. We are both off to hospital. I will b ok."

Video from the aftermath of the scene showed Booker hugging the woman, his right hand wrapped in gauze. "Just some second-degree burns," he told reporters.

Booker was released from a New Jersey-area hospital at about 11:30 p.m., according to the mayor's spokeswoman, Anne Torres.

The incident occurred at a building next to Booker's home, the mayor told CNN Friday.

The mayor had returned home to see flames shooting out of a second- floor kitchen window. Flanked by two members of his security detail, Booker rushed toward the building, he said.

"Something exploded and sent a lot of flames over the steps, and my detail just grabbed me and started trying to drag me out of there," Booker said.

There was a "bit of an altercation," but he convinced the security personnel to let him go.

Also, more proof that capes just get in the way.  Important lesson, folks.  And good job.