Tuesday, October 12, 2010

It's For Our Own Good

Good ol' GOP Senate candidate Mark Kirk is running for Obama's old seat in Illinois, and he's got a plan to be helpful to some of the Land of Lincoln's citizens who just can't look out for themselves.


In a private phone conversation that was secretly recorded, Mark Kirk, the Republican U.S. Senate candidate in Illinois, told state Republican leaders last week about his plan to send "voter integrity" squads to four predominately African American neighborhoods of Chicago "where the other side might be tempted to jigger the numbers somewhat."

Kirk's campaign confirmed the candidate was secretly taped last week as he was talking about his anti-voter fraud effort.

"These are lawyers and other people that will be deployed in key, vulnerable precincts, for example, South and West sides of Chicago, Rockford, Metro East, where the other side might be tempted to jigger the numbers somewhat," he said in the audio posted on YouTube.

Because apparently, African-Americans in Chicago are just too "vulnerable" to voter fraud, you know, being...exactly what, I don't know.  Apparently we attract some sort of bizarre probability field that makes us need extra scrutiny from white Republicans when we vote.  You know, out of concern for us.  He's just looking out for our "integrity" and it's not a concerted effort to repress, intimidate, obfuscate or otherwise disenfranchise African-American voters in Chicago or anything.

Why, Republicans would never do that.  After all, I expect those same voter integrity squads to be in Chicago's other neighborhoods.  At Mark Kirk's expense.  In fact, all over Illinois.  Checking all voters.

Including Mark Kirk himself.

5 comments:

  1. Well, you know those ACORN and SEIU thugs. We need some good ol' white thugs to make sure ACORN and SEIU don't try to steal the election.

    I hear the KKK is quite eager to help.

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  2. @StarStorm:

    Have you been cashing your Soros4Socialism.com checks without doing your homework? The New Black Panther Party is the polling-place-intimidation army. ACORN does the voter fraud. SEIU beats up Tea Partiers.

    If you don't know your community organizing social subversion structures, you'll never get invited to the Bilderberg "We Secretly HATE Being Ultra-Wealthy" Communism Hootenany again.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wait, I'm supposed to be getting checks now?

    I'm fucking bi, and I'd think that'd be enough to get the gay agenda, but I still don't get it.

    I'm fucking liberal/progressive, and now I'm supposed to be getting checks from Soros?

    Am I doing something wrong here? Is it my smell?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fence sitter. Minty fresh smell notwithstanding, you don't get SorosFunBucks until you pick a team and join the struggle. And stop snatching up all our cute whoevers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fuck sitting on the fence. I'm WAY too much in love with both sets to give either up.

    ReplyDelete