Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Now With Plenty Of Pepper Jacked Cheese

FOX News and Bill-O come to the defense of UC Davis chancellor Linda Katehi and Cop Of The Year Lt. John Pike with the "industrial strength police pepper spray is totally not that bad, you pussies!" theory.

"I don't think we have the right to Monday-morning quarterback the police," Bill O'Reilly said tonight, discussing the appalling use of pepper spray by UC Davis police on Friday. No, God forbid we Monday-morning quarterback the police, especially, as O'Reilly continued, "at a place like UC Davis, which is a fairly liberal campus."


Indeed: what right do we have to think that Lt. John Pike should probably not have indifferently dusted peacefully sitting protesters with pepper spray from only a few feet away? And, gosh, even if we were going to Monday-morning quarterback the police, shouldn't we remember, as Megyn Kelly tells O'Reilly, that pepper spray is "a food product, essentially"? I mean, Kelly and O'Reilly aren't saying the cops did the right thing! God, no! They're just saying, hey, what right do we have to judge a cop for spraying a simple food product on a bunch of liberal college kids' faces?

It's a just food product.  Pepper spray is just like Frank's Red Hot, only it works on LIBERAL WIMP HIPPIES and how dare you question America's cops while they are protecting us from sedentary young people.  Bill-O totally uses it on his felafels.  It's pain-licious!  Take the Pepper Spray hot wings challenge at a police station near you!

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