We Need More Enemies

If you were worried that with Obama around we'd have fewer enemies to worry about and would have to actually -- *gasp* -- cut our massive military budget or something terribly sensible like that, don't worry. It turns out the Joint Chiefs think we've got a nice little unstable government next door that we have to keep an eye on.

Mexico is one of two countries that "bear consideration for a rapid and sudden collapse," according to a report by the U.S. Joint Forces Command on worldwide security threats.

The command's "Joint Operating Environment (JOE 2008)" report, which contains projections of global threats and potential next wars, puts Pakistan on the same level as Mexico. "In terms of worse-case scenarios for the Joint Force and indeed the world, two large and important states bear consideration for a rapid and sudden collapse: Pakistan and Mexico.

"The Mexican possibility may seem less likely, but the government, its politicians, police and judicial infrastructure are all under sustained assault and press by criminal gangs and drug cartels. How that internal conflict turns out over the next several years will have a major impact on the stability of the Mexican state. Any descent by Mexico into chaos would demand an American response based on the serious implications for homeland security alone."

That's right...Mexico's political instability is equal to that of Pakistan, apparently. The sound you're hearing is the ear-splitting moan of a thousand, thousand wingnuts fapping one-handed while simultaneously typing "BOMB MEXECO NOW11!!!1" with the other.

Maybe we can get those Minutemen dudes to go on cross-border raids. I'm sure the Mexican Army will appreciate it.

I wonder where those Mexican "narcoterrorists" keep getting their money from, anyway? Here's a hint: illegal drugs fetch a high price.

In all seriousness, invade Mexico? Mexico is Pakistan? Really? I mean shit, if we'll invade some country 6,000 miles away for oil, what about the one with oil six miles away?