StupidiNews!

• The death toll from yesterday's Washington, D.C. Metro train collision has reached nine.
• Britain's House of Commons has elected a new Speaker, Conservative John Bercow.
• Congress's emergency war funding bill has plenty of funding for non-war related things.
• Iran's Guardian Council has rejected new elections as crackdowns increase.
• A new study shows that if the world used all the wind power available, it would provide 40 times current global power use.