StupidiNews!

• JP Morgan Chase announced a quarterly windfall of $2.7 billion, solidly beating estimates.
• The Washington Post claims that the CIA assassination program to hit Al-Qaeda leaders was "set to go live."
• Judge Sonia Sotomayor faces her fourth and final day of testimony today before the Senate Judiciary Committee.
• Wal-Mart is looking to get into a new business: selling Japanese "Samurai" bonds.
• The debate over jamming cell phones in prisons heated up Wednesday as both camps clashed at Senate hearings.