StupidiNews!

• Opening statements in the trial of Scott Roeder, the man accused of killing abortion provider Dr. George Tiller, begin today in Kansas.
• The White House is now unsure if it can get enough votes to reconfirm Fed chairman Ben Bernanke.
• California's Supreme Court has thrown out state limits on medical marijuana possession.
• Obama's plans to limit banks may cost five large financial trading firms up to $13 billion in revenue.
• Apple's expected "iTablet" announcement next week may revolutionize the textbook market.