Orange You Glad He's A Liar?

GOP house minority leader John Boehner penning an op-ed in Investor's Business Daily on Wall Street reform?  Oh man, I must have been an extra-good Zandar this week, cause somebody up there likes me.  Let's check in with ol' Orange Julius in the Land of Make Believe, shall we?

We cannot restore confidence in our economy unless we fully address the root causes of the financial crisis and take definitive steps to ensure that taxpayers are never again forced to pick up the tab for bad bets on Wall Street. The legislation President Obama is promoting, however, does neither of these things and actually makes matters worse.

President Obama talks a big game when it comes to Wall Street, but his newest job-killing initiative would provide the nation's largest financial firms with permanent bailouts ordered and overseen by unelected federal bureaucrats.

OK, two paragraphs in and we're already into total fabrication.  Once again, the banks would be required to front money for a fund that would be used to unwind and dissolve a busted bank peacefully, when decided by regulators who are in fact appointed by people who are elected, and would not cast taxpayer money.  It is not a bailout fund, the same way asking hospitals to keep blood supplies on hand in case of disaster is not a permanent phlebotomy bailout to keep the autoclave manufacturing industry in business.  It's a break glass in case of emergency thing.

Oh, but he gets worse, folks.

Under his proposal, the largest Wall Street firms would become eligible for special treatment, including taxpayer-funded resources unavailable to smaller financial firms. These include exclusive access to a pre-existing bailout fund, a Treasury-backed line of credit and a government guarantee for any debt.

Such perks will benefit the likes of Goldman Sachs, President Obama's top financial contributor during the 2008 campaign and a firm that just happens to be under investigation by the SEC for defrauding investors.

Well yes, that's because should a smaller community bank fail, they are small enough not to require $50 billion in this fund to help liquidate them, and besides, there are larger banks who will buy their assets.  That's called the FDIC.  Maybe Boehner's aware of their "special treatment" for banks since, oh, the Great Depression era.

Perhaps Boehner too is aware of taxpayer-funded boondoggles called "Fire Departments" which, should a Wall Street bank like Goldman Sachs actually physically catch on fire, would have to have that fire extinguished at taxpayer expense.  What a perk for a company under investigation by the SEC and donor to Obama!  (Oh, and to John Boehner too.)

The decision to designate Goldman and other giant banks as "too big to fail" won't be made by taxpayers or their elected representatives. Under the Democrats' plan, a new "Financial Stability Oversight Council" made up of unelected federal bureaucrats — including representatives from the Treasury Department, the Federal Reserve, the CFTC, the FDIC and the SEC — would have absolute power to seize any company and do whatever it wants with it.

To recap, John Boehner is equating "resolution authority" (which is the ability to wind down a bank that is failing and has become a danger to the financial system) with "absolute power" (which is the ability to make corporate lunchrooms serve nothing but rice cakes and tofu smoothies for a month before firing everyone and then using the building to house ACORN's cyborg pimp factories.)

Anything else, Skippy?

That means Washington Democrats would force taxpayers to rely on the same government bureaucracies that were asleep at the switch the last time around. The commissioner of the SEC has warned that "there are no clear limits on the degree of government intervention that could be expected."

This special treatment makes these large firms more attractive to investors than the smaller local banks, widening the gap between Wall Street and Main Street. Local banks will receive none of the perks of the Democrats' permanent bailout bill while being forced to comply with all of its expensive, job-killing mandates — at the worst possible time for small businesses across America.

Which is funny, because if that were true I seriously doubt the Independent Community Bankers of America, the trade group representing America's smaller local banks, would want to see the Dodd bill passed at all.  As a matter of fact not only do they want to see this bill pass, they want to make that $50 billion fund for unwinding the big guys increased in size.  As a matter of fact, they see this a s a great opportunity to showcase why community banks are preferable to the big Wall Street titans for reasons of fiscal responsibility, lower risk, and community responsiveness.  Perhaps Orange Julius should actually ask them about "what smaller local banks" want from financial reform rather than making assumptions.

Yadda yadda, let's see.  Oh, derivatives.

But don't go looking through this 1,408-page bill that President Obama supports for any provisions that would reform Fannie and Freddie or get the derivatives market in order. This is unfortunate, but unsurprising: Washington Democrats have been enabling these government mortgage companies for years, giving them a free ride while the economy crumbled.

What's worse, this legislation claims that it will fix derivatives, but in reality it will just end up sending this business overseas, hurting our economy and failing to fix the real problems.

Good thing the Democrats are adding much stricter derivatives legislation to the bill then, coming out of Blanche Lincoln's committee, to merge with the Dodd bill.  He's got a tiny point here, the real problem that created this mess was greed and loopholes to pursue greed, and the Dodd and Lincoln bills still leave more than a few of those loopholes behind.  That's going to create problems down the road, but not nearly as bad as doing nothing will, like the GOP wants.

Wrap it up here, Julius.  I'm on lunch.

Permanent, unending bailouts for President Obama's Wall Street allies and more job-killing mandates for Main Street is not reform. Republicans are standing with the American people by putting forward a responsible plan to end the bailouts, reform Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and hold Wall Street accountable for its actions.

Really?  And where is this "Republican Financial Reform Bill" anyway?  First I've heard of it.  I'd like to see it.  Oh wait, we have seen it:  2001-2009, the Bush years.  That worked out well, didn't it?

Sorry, Julius.  You really are going to have to get better lies to reach "mendacious", right now you're just at "laughable."  Go hit up Frank Luntz for an hour, see what you can come up with.