GOP Disappointment In Obama's Lack Of Superpowers

Going back to my rant last week, yet another Republican is suddenly really, really concerned about Lake Palin completely destroying his state.  This time it's GOP Congressman Vern Buchanan of Florida.

Florida Republican U.S. Rep. Vern Buchanan came away from a flight over the massive BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico this week with at least one overriding concern: "We've got to cap it today."


Buchanan, standing in front of a Gulf of Mexico beach at Siesta Key, said Tuesday at a press conference that a U.S. Coast Guard official told him the runaway Deepwater Horizon well, in the worst case scenario, could pump out 210,000 gallons a day for a minimum of four months.

Buchanan called the disaster "unbelievable and devastating," and expressed concern that the spill, even if it doesn't hit local beaches, will scare away enough tourists to hurt the local economy. 

Cap it today?  With what, exactly?  Obama's Green Lantern ring?  His top-secret Navy experimental fusion sub?  Flubber?  Hey, Vern here didn't have any problems with drill baby drill before as long as it wasn't anywhere off the coast of his district.  Well guess what, Vern?  This oil well wasn't anywhere near your district.  It's still going to destroy your coastline and your economy.  Four months of oil at 210,000 gallons a day is oh, 25 million give or take.  That's the absolute minimum scenario.  If the real flow rate is closer to that million gallons a day mark, then you're in real trouble.  The reality is that we're looking at an order of magnitude worse than Exxon Valdez, or even worse.

And now this dipstick wants the federal government to "cap it today."  Now you need those tax dollars.  Now you need that spending.  Now you need that "fascist" Obama government to use its "tyrant" authority to save you.

Not happening, Vern.  You wanted offshore oil rigs?  You got em.  Now get your ass out there with a mop and bucket and start cleaning.