StupidiNews!

• BP plans to begin its "top kill" procedure today to inject mud into the oil geyser in the Gulf of Mexico, jamming it up.
• The Pentagon notes that America now has more troops in Afghanistan than in Iraq.
• Jamaican police are on the move in the capital of Kingston, hunting "narcotics kingpin" Christopher Coke.
• Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says the United States will back South Korea as Seoul considers new sanctions against the North.
• Scientists have discovered a new "quasi-particle" of matter dubbed the plasmaron.