Friday, August 13, 2010

Taking Out Woodrow Wilson Is Worth Some Phat Points

Via John Cole, we find something of a fascinating social experiment/wargaming/betting on the gladiator pits/drunken College Republican what-if exercise as a big giant pile of wingers decide who they hate the most, and by "fascinating" I mean "Hey, let's put on a live action version of Lord of the Flies only we put a bunch of LIBERALS on this island and then starve them until they eat each other, it'll be GREAT" lizard-brain violence kind of Battle Royale stuff, and there's only one helicopter off the island and it's guarded by the inevitable velociraptor pack, and there's weapons and booby traps and mutant pirahna and exploding barrels and food and medical supplies and Scott Pilgrim Versus The World power-ups hidden all over the island, plus a bunch of video cameras to capture all the wacky fun as it happens.  I'm pretty sure it'll be in HD too and we can add a laugh track in post-production, plus cool SPLAT BOING PEW sound effects.

Anyway, while we're waiting for the video feed to come in on that, it turns out that Barack Obama is only the second most reviled figure in American history behind History's Greatest Monster, a one Mr. Jimmy Carter as we look at the chart from the oddsmakers:

23) Saul Alinsky (7)
23) Bill Clinton (7)
23) Hillary Clinton (7)
19) Michael Moore (7)
19) George Soros (8)
19) Alger Hiss (8)
19) Al Sharpton (8)
13) Al Gore (9)
13) Noam Chomsky (9)
13) Richard Nixon (9)
13) Jane Fonda (9)
13) Harry Reid (9)
13) Nancy Pelosi (9)
11) John Wilkes Booth (10)
11) Margaret Sanger (10)
9) Aldrich Ames (11)
9) Timothy McVeigh (11)
7) Ted Kennedy (14)
7) Lyndon Johnson (14)
5) Benedict Arnold (17)
5) Woodrow Wilson (17)
4) The Rosenbergs (19)
3) Franklin Delano Roosevelt (21)
2) Barack Obama (23)
1) Jimmy Carter (25) 

Dude, my money's totally on Jane Fonda, she has real world experience in this sort of thing from Barbarella.  John Wilkes Booth?  He killed like one guy.  You have to like the manpower/tag-team advantage of the Rosenbergs versus Bill and Hillary and there's Benedict Arnold's military experience too.

You can't count out Tim McVeigh, either.  You know the guy is an expert with improvised weapons and explosives.  On the other hand, George Soros probably already bought the island beforehand, so he knows where all the really good weapons are.

What's Carter going to do, drink a Billy Beer?   Sheesh.

But man, all bets are off should FDR get the bionic battle suit hidden in the cave on the northwestern end of the island...

4 comments:

  1. I like how FDR, who made us a super-power, ranks ahead of the rosenbergs and benedict arnold.

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  3. You know, I have to wonder why many of them are on the list. Specifically, Woodrow Wilson. I don't know what beef they have with him.

    And it makes perfect sense, broken. As far as they're concerned, he's a commie class and race traitor who helped keep fascism out of the US. They'd love nothing more to dissolve the New Deal and make the Business Plot a reality.

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  4. Jimmy Carter and Barack Obama worse than Tim McVeigh.

    That is all you need to know about the modern American Wingnut.

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