Dear America:

Time's Mark Halperin has found a 50% discount sale on apocalypse cloaks and "The End Is Nigh!" signage and wants to share with the Village cool kids.

But Obama has exacerbated his political problems not just by failing to enact policies that would have actually turned the economy around, but also by authorizing a series of tactical moves intended to demonize Republicans and distract from the problems at hand. He has wasted time lambasting his foes when he should have been putting forth his agenda in a clear, optimistic fashion, defending the benefits of his key decisions during the past two years (health care and the Troubled Asset Relief Program, for example) and explaining what he would do with a re-elected Democratic majority to spur growth.

Throughout the year, we have been treated to Obama-led attacks on George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Congressman Joe Barton (for his odd apology to BP), John Boehner (for seeking the speakership — or was it something about an ant?) and Fox News (for everything). Suitable Democratic targets in some cases, perhaps, but not worth the time of a busy Commander in Chief. In the past few days, we have witnessed the spectacle of the President himself and his top advisers wading into allegations that Republicans are attempting to buy the election using foreign money laundered through the Chamber of Commerce, combining with Karl Rove and his wealthy backers to fund a flood of negative television commercials. Not only is this issue convoluted and far-fetched, but it also distracts from the issues voters care about, frustrating political insiders and alienating struggling citizens (not that many are following such an offbeat story line). Feinting and gibing can't obscure those job numbers.

Those poor, poor white, straight, baby boomer male Republicans in Washington.  Nobody will defend their right to call Obama a Muslim terrorist threat to our nation.  Nobody will defend their right to repeated block attempted solutions by the administration.  Nobody will defend their right to e-mail pictures of the President as an African tribal with doctor with a bone through his nose.  Nobody except the brave, fearless Mark Halperin.

 

Such a horrific history of repression these put-upon American heroes have had, braving this President's monstrous requests to debate his opponents on live television, his barbaric calls for bipartisan compromise, and his inhuman penchant for negotiation and diplomacy.  It borders on madness, and thank god for Mark Halperin for finally standing up for these folks in the Beltway press.  Lord knows their history in America has been that of overwhelming political helplessness.  Only 43 Presidents...and then along came this Obama person with his agenda to help people.

 

But it was an agenda that would hurt the wealthiest among us in this recession, and such intolerable cruelty of raising the marginal rate to 39.6% to those making millions a year should never be countenanced in American history.  Honestly if only Barack Obama would do everything the Republicans ask of him as quickly as possible, he would go down as the least hated Democrat in the White House since Bill Clinton, and perhaps he won't be impeached for his unforgivable crime of not being a Republican.

Maybe.