It's For Our Own Good

Good ol' GOP Senate candidate Mark Kirk is running for Obama's old seat in Illinois, and he's got a plan to be helpful to some of the Land of Lincoln's citizens who just can't look out for themselves.

In a private phone conversation that was secretly recorded, Mark Kirk, the Republican U.S. Senate candidate in Illinois, told state Republican leaders last week about his plan to send "voter integrity" squads to four predominately African American neighborhoods of Chicago "where the other side might be tempted to jigger the numbers somewhat."

Kirk's campaign confirmed the candidate was secretly taped last week as he was talking about his anti-voter fraud effort.

"These are lawyers and other people that will be deployed in key, vulnerable precincts, for example, South and West sides of Chicago, Rockford, Metro East, where the other side might be tempted to jigger the numbers somewhat," he said in the audio posted on YouTube.

Because apparently, African-Americans in Chicago are just too "vulnerable" to voter fraud, you know, being...exactly what, I don't know.  Apparently we attract some sort of bizarre probability field that makes us need extra scrutiny from white Republicans when we vote.  You know, out of concern for us.  He's just looking out for our "integrity" and it's not a concerted effort to repress, intimidate, obfuscate or otherwise disenfranchise African-American voters in Chicago or anything.

Why, Republicans would never do that.  After all, I expect those same voter integrity squads to be in Chicago's other neighborhoods.  At Mark Kirk's expense.  In fact, all over Illinois.  Checking all voters.

Including Mark Kirk himself.