Zombie Ghost Pirate Terrorists Could Kill You Like That, Bob

Ten years after the Transportation Security Administration was created, Republicans have a bunch of conflicting, hypocritical nonsense to helpfully spout in order for you to approve of them grifting the system they made in the first place.

Reps. John Mica (R-Fla.) and Paul Broun (R-Ga.) want to give the Transportation Security Administration a series of drastic reforms for its birthday this week.

Days before the 10th anniversary of the TSA's founding, and also one of the busiest travel periods of the year, the GOP lawmakers took the agency to task Wednesday using a new report titled “A Decade Later: A Call for TSA Reform.”

"Americans have paid $60 billion funding TSA and they are no safer today than they were before 9/11," Broun said during a news conference at Washington's Ronald Reagan National Airport announcing the report. Mica, who wrote the the law that established the TSA in the wake of the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, agreed. Despite the fact that there have not been any incidents since that day, the TSA has not made flying safer, he said.

"We are safer today, but not because of TSA," Mica said. "It's because the American people will not allow an aircraft to be taken over. We saw on Flight 93, and almost every instance of a successful thwarting since, it's been the passengers, the pilots and the crew."

I'm no huge fan of the TSA but the notion that the guy who "wrote the law establishing the TSA" saying we're no safer now than we were on September 10, 2010 is idiocy.  The plan here is obvious, defund the TSA to the point it can't do its job anymore, declare government unable to work, then privatize airport security by farming out everything to contractors to "save money" and create profit for the GOP's corporate masters.  Should anything happen to an airplane, blame the Dems.

The "government can't possibly work" gameplan is in full effect here, just like similar plans to rid us of the Departments of Education, Labor, Energy, yadda yadda.  Why, Zombie Ghost Pirate Bin Laden could steal the treasure of Monkey Island kill your entire family at any time.  Government has failed you again!


Besides, real Americans just beat up any terrorists they see and don't need to rely on others to protect themselves.  Get to work making yourself safer, citizen.  Alternately, we'd like to sell you Zombie Ghost Pirate Terrorist repelling rock for a nominal fee...