Truer Words Were Never Spoken

When I was in my early teens, something terrible happened to our family.  I won't bore you with the story, it wouldn't mean much if you weren't there.  I was young and had no frame of reference to help me process those events.  I became angry, then sad, then resigned to the inevitable.  But when I was at a low, my mother told me something that changed me forever, and equipped me to deal with things this crazy old world was going to throw at me.

"You don't have any power over what is," she said.  "You only have power over yourself."  That has helped me so much in life.  Instead of fighting reality, I only have to make myself handle it the best way possible.  We cannot change death, sadness or loss.  We can, however, decide how we will react to it, and how we process it.  This is different than sticking our head in the sand, or refusing to fight for a better outcome.  It means we need to realize any illusion of control we have is just that.  We are only responsible for ourselves.

Recently, Lifehacker decided to run a piece that reinforces what I know to to be true.  I thought I'd share it with you.

When things aren't working the way you want them to, or you feel you're surrounded by problems, it can be tempting to look outward and try to change the things that you feel are causing issues. Chances are the issues you're facing aren't so cut and dry. The solution to the problem might just be your attitude. That's what pastor and educator Charles R. Swindoll believes:

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

We forget that we can choose who and how we are going to be. It's easy to blame outside circumstances for who we are, but even in the face of the best or worst life has to offer, how we react is our ultimate declaration of who we are.  Life is full of choices, but how we choose to look at the world is the foundation of how we will survive in it.  Sometimes, rather than try to change the circumstances we should try to change ourselves instead.  As I get older, I have noticed the same as Mr. Swindoll.  I have made a concentrated effort to focus on the positive, and I have tried to work with what I am given instead of demanding something else.  It has made me happier, and in the last year I have enjoyed more success than in the other years combined.

It's something to think about, at least.