"Why We Should Let Men Cheat On Their Wives" And Other BS

I'm going to  go into this saying I understand and agree with a few points from this article.  Our world has changed rapidly, as has our concept of marriage, raising kids, and what is normal for families.  The article makes several points that illustrate why men are physically and socially engineered to cheat, and how they can bang a waitress and still love their wife.  In other words, have their cake and eat it too at someone else's expense.  I call bullshit, but more on that in a minute.


It is a starting point for another honest discussion we need to encourage young people to have once in a relationship.  Girls in my generation were taught to be business moms.  We were supposed to wear suits with shoulder pads, and juggle family and work with a bemused grin.  Clair Huxtable is the perfect example of what I mean.  We were encouraged to marry young and know our path in the workforce well before we could buy a drink.  Times have changed so much, and young adults are slower to marry and at least more honest about promiscuous behavior.  The dynamics have changed and we should empower people to say what they want in a relationship.  That means all people on board are making informed decisions.  


My major problem with the article is that it has a "oh those rascals, who can blame them" tone that really annoys me.  There's more to cheating that a bump and a giggle.  There is the possibility of pregnancy, disease, stalking and a thousand other Very Bad Things.  When one spouse has no idea they are being exposed to those risks, it's not fair.  When the person brought into the affair doesn't have full disclosure, that is equally wrong.  The difference is intent and honoring the other person's right to make decisions for themselves based on facts.  The article is written in the wrong slant, it says "controlling one's partner to prevent it only makes matters worse -- it makes them want to leave you."  It should say "be honest with your partner so you two can decide if what you want is right for both of you, or just you."


The article doesn't address women cheating.  Infidelity is painful regardless of gender, a woman cheating is equally as despicable, right?  Or because we aren't engineered to do so, is it more of a crime against our partner?  Feels like more BS to me.


It's all about choice.  People are going to live how they wish, there's no point in trying to enforce a stranger's morals on a group of adults, and why should we?  However, we need to understand the complexity of relationships and respect for other's rights to know what is going on in their marriage.  That is the trick for more than just this problem, but perhaps our divorce rate and the issues of blended families as well.