London Mitt Is Falling Down

The plan was simple:  Mitt Romney goes over to the London Games to tout his own Olympic organizer credentials in Salt Lake in 2002, and to burnish his foreign policy credentials with our closest European ally.  Instead, yesterday's Mittastrophe performance was so staggeringly pathetic it got to the point where Romney's multiple-day series of gaffes has the British press now openly mocking him.

First, Romney insulted his hosts Tuesday:

Strictly speaking, this one isn't Romney's fault, but still, the media loves a narrative, and this comment certainly plays into it. Before the trip had even begun, a Romney "adviser" was quoted as saying the Republican contender would be better placed than Barack Obama to sustain the transatlantic relationship with the UK because of a shared "Anglo-Saxon heritage. 

Then he did it again on Wednesday:

On Wednesday, the day he arrived in London, Romney was interviewed by NBC's Brian Williams. In a softball warm-up question, Williams asked Romney about his wife's horse, Rafalca, which will be in competition in the dressage, and whether Britain looked ready to host the Olympics. Easy, surely? Not for Romney.

"There are a few things that were disconcerting," Romney said of the event which has been 15 years in the planning and is expected to cost over £9bn.

"The stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and customs officials – that obviously is not something which is encouraging."

Then he stepped in it, forgetting the name of Labour party opposition leader Ed Miliband.

On to a meeting with the leader of the opposition Labour party, Ed Miliband – a man often criticised for being awkward and lacking a common touch. They should have got on famously. But Romney seemed to forget Miliband's name. "Like you, Mr Leader, I look forward to our conversations this morning," Romney said.

Then he botched it by admitting he met with the head of Britain's super-secret MI6, another no-no.

The existence of MI6, the international arm of the British secret service, was not officially acknowledged until 1994, 82 years after it was established. But the organisation is still shrouded in secrecy, and its operations – and the diary schedule of its chief – are rarely acknowledged. But here comes Romney, in fully open mode: "I appreciated the insights and perspectives of the leaders of the government here and the opposition here as well as the head of MI6". 

After that, he bobbled a comment about backsides.

There are two things you should know before you "look out of the backside of 10 Downing Street", as Mitt Romney did on Thursday.

Firstly, in Britain, "backside" means "ass". As in the part of the body. Secondly, "10 Downing Street" is often used in political reporting as a synonym for a press spokesman for the prime minister, in the same way as "the White House" can say things or have opinions.

And it got so bad, London Mayor Boris Johnson called him out at the city's pre-Olympics rally yesterday.

"The Geiger counter of Olympo-mania is going to go zoink! off the scale! People are coming from around the world, and they're seeing us, and they're seeing the greatest country on Earth, aren't they? There are some people who are coming from around the world who don't yet know about all the preparations we've done to get London ready in the last seven years. I hear there's a guy called Mitt Romney who wants to know whether we're ready. Are we ready?"

Even Prime Minister David Cameron politely told Mittens to bugger off back to Utah.

Promising London would deliver, the Prime Minister said it had been challenging to host an Olympics in one of the world's busiest cities rather than the “middle of nowhere”, where it would be easier.

And now this morning, Mitt faceplanted again on his geography.

Mr Romney was asked in his interview on Thursday evening whether he had been aware of his roots in northern England, where his great-great-grandfather, a carpenter from Preston, was one of the first Mormons in Britain some 175 years ago.

“I knew that my ancestors came from here,” he said. “I know Miles Romney and Miles Park Romney – these are the folks that came and helped settle the West.”

Asked whether he felt “partly English” as a result, a chuckling Mr Romney replied: “Well, I’m married to a girl from Wales, and I’m a guy from Great Britain. So I feel like this is home too, I guess.” 

Great Britain is the island, Mittens.  United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is the country.  And I'm betting between bouts of massive laughter that the residents want you to toddle off back to your Aspen mansion and stop being such a complete wanker.

Folks, if Mitt Romney can't handle a trip to the effing Olympics without making America look like a bunch of morons, how can he possibly handle real foreign policy situations involving China or Pakistan or North Korea or Israel?  He's actually made Sarah Palin look competent here.  I mean, it was bad for Mitt before, but now he has no credibility in foreign affairs at all.

And we've got another day of fantastic blunders to go.  God save the Queen.