Welcome to the United States of Gun Fetishization, where our completely logical response to deadly firearm violence in our schools is training teachers to kill in self-defense.
In the heartland of a nation worn raw by school shootings, these teachers are now students, learning how to kill an armed intruder.
Most of their bullets find the intended pings; a few kick up red dirt of a berm. It’s a process.
In the year and a half since the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary, as America has struggled to find the answer to its epidemic of school shootings, some districts have decided that teachers are the ultimate first responders and need to learn to shoot back.
Four Missouri school districts recently sent staffers to this hilltop range for five days of firearms training. The instructors, all current law enforcement officers, refer to the teachers’ “unique situation” — essentially close-quarters combat while youngsters scream and run about.
“You have to pick your environment apart,” Jason Long, a lieutenant with the Howell County sheriff’s office, stresses to the class.
So, are these teachers ready to pull the trigger on a shooter? How about if it’s a kid they’ve had in class?
“None of us would be here if we haven’t already answered that question,” one man said.
There now. Don't you feel better?
Instead of the problem being guns in schools, the answer is more guns in schools. That makes perfect sense, like saying "the problem with arson is we need to train people to burn down more buildings in order to try to kill arsonists before they can start fires." I mean fire just a tool, fires don't kill people, people kill people. Your local disposable lighter factory thanks you.
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