Last Call

So, Republicans tell me Thou Shalt:

1. Hate poor people because they are all shiftless, lazy minorities, unless they are the working-class salt of the earth who are your friends and neighbors and you should help them because Jesus wants you to,
2. Admire the wealthy creative classes who provide the real engine of the economy, unless they are liberal elitists lying to you about global warming while flying around in private jets,
3. Refuse to take government handouts or work for the government unless you're in the military and then the government doesn't provide you with enough, so donate hot sauce, or you're a GOP politician, then you're doing the People's Will,
4. Despise the media because they are manipulating you unless you're Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O Reilly, FOX News, etc.,
5. Patriotically defend this country from critics unless the government is run by Democrats, in which case it is your duty to dissent,
6. Brutally rail against immigrants period unless they are badly needed Asian scientists or paid under the table illegals working for your business,
7. Treat all minorities as inferior unless they spout GOP talking points at relative intervals,
8. Treat women as inferior unless they are running for Vice-President on the GOP ticket, in which case the world is filled with misogyny, or they submit to your dominion as Male,
9. Despise science as a secular affront to God's will unless it generates cool weapons for killing people and/or allows greater control over what people think,
10. Be a complete hypocrite on all of these issues at the same time unless you are batshit crazy, which makes the whole process much more efficient.

So, no. They do make the Democrats look appealing as a political party. Also, I don't tend to respect anybody whose argument I can effectively defeat with the words "But how do you explain why you voted for Bush then?"