Last Call

And this right here is a Syfy movie of the week.

A softball-sized eyeball from an unknown creature has washed up on a beach in Florida. According to the Orlando Sentinel, Gino Covacci was taking a morning walk along Pompano Beach when he spotted the blue orb bobbing in the tide.

Placing it in a plastic bag, he walked home and put it into the refrigerator, figuring that it was something unusual.

“It was very, very fresh,” he told the Sentinel. “It was still bleeding when I put it in the plastic bag.”

Covacci contacted police, who directed him to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, who were also stymied as to what animal the eye could have come from.

Wildlife Commission spokesperson Carli Segelson said that wildlife officials packed the eye in ice and forwarded it to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Research Institute in St. Petersburg.

And then whatever it came from shows up and it has 13 more of them.  Only Dean Cain and Kari Wuhrer have any chance against it, because if they fail, humanity is next on the menu!

Yeah, we're boned.

Age Is No Excuse

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (AP) -- A 91-year-old woman who pleaded guilty Thursday to stealing $201,000 from the south Alabama town where she was mayor for three decades paid hush money in a bid to keep her crimes secret, documents showed.

Prosecutors said River Falls Mayor Mary Ella Hixon pleaded guilty to theft and resigned. In exchange, authorities dropped another felony ethics charge.

Circuit Judge Ashley McKathan sentenced Hixon to 10 years in prison but suspended the term because of Hixon's advanced age. She must spend five years on probation.

I'm not saying it's great to have a 91-year-old woman in jail, but neither should someone steal that amount of money and then confess with no repercussions.  Five years of probation?  What is she going to do in her early 90s, start a motorcycle gang?

What really sucks is that while I see why the judge made that call, this woman got away with multiple crimes.

Michael Vick Wins Me Over

I had spoken to Zandar about Vick recently anyway, so this story from TMZ is the perfect chance to speak my mind.  When Vick was found guilty, I was as mad as anyone.  I cried while the story developed, and I was so angry I truly lost sleep over it.

Time went by after Vick got out, and I didn't buy his act.  I was angry, and he hadn't paid enough.  But his actions ever since have been impeccable.  This man learned a lesson.  He did an awful thing, and he came out of it paid in full and a better man.  I believe that, and I had every reason to nurse a grudge.

And then there's this TMZ update:

Michael Vick has finally said squarely ... his family does indeed have a dog.

There's been a lot of controversy over whether Vick -- who served hard time for brutally killing multiple dogs, should own one again.

Vick says, "I understand the strong emotions by some people about our family's decision to care for a pet.  As a father, it is important to make sure my children develop a healthy relationship with animals."

Vick goes on, "I want to ensure that my children establish a loving bond and treat all of God's creatures with kindness and respect.  Our pet is well cared for and loved as a member of our family."

Vick continues, "This is an opportunity to break the cycle.  To that end, I will continue to honor my commitment to animal welfare and be an instrument of positive change."

He is right.  He has shown a truly positive change, sustained over a great length of time.  He is trying to teach his kids better, and you can't do that until you have a pet.  He isn't an ass about the skepticism, he understands it and he speaks frankly about why it's important to break the cycle and do good.  I believe he feels he owes animals some karma.

What say you, readers?  Do you agree, or think he should forfeit his right to pets forever, even for the sake of his kids?

Palin Is Thinning Her Herd

The Immoral Minority has pointed out that Sarah Palin is wasting away.  She has gone from fit to thin to freaking bony.  Rumors had started about her health, but nope.  She's just hawking another damn book.

Sarah Palin debuted a new look in Los Angeles this week: frosted hair, frosted lips, and a thinner figure than she’s had in the past. Turns out, she’s got a new project to go with it — penning a diet and exercise tome.

In an email to People magazine Tuesday, the former Alaska governor and VP candidate wrote, “Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

So if she can't tell the country how to live while milking their wallet, she'll just hit us on an individual level.  Please God, someone shut this woman up already.  The Juneau Jerky will continue to wear skinny jeans and those godawful clog shoes she has taken a shine to.

Maybe she just has some ghostwriter frequent flyer miles to use up before the end of the year.

May The Punishment Fit The Crime

DALLAS (AP) -- A doctor has testified that a Texas mother who glued her 2-year-old daughter's hands to a wall also beat the toddler so badly that she suffered significant brain trauma and bleeding inside her skull.

Elizabeth Escalona pleaded guilty July 12 to injury to a child. The 23-year-old mother is being sentenced Monday. She faces up to life in prison. A state district judge will decide her punishment.

Anyone who can do this to a two-year-old over potty training issues deserves the full punishment.  I really do believe in attempting rehabilitation, but when you are working with someone this diabolical I don't give very good odds.

I hope these poor kids get a family that loves them and treats them well, while they spend a lifetime breaking the cycle of abuse.

I fear what it would do to some states, but for the safety of the kids and the determination of the parent's options, perhaps we should look at a nationwide effort to give parents a place to bring their kids when they are on the edge.  Life is full of stressors and triggers for people who need help.  Increase counseling, or the availability of it.  But with that let it be a two-edged sword.  Parents don't get to claim being overwhelmed or not knowing they had this option.  Some kids are spared, some abusers get stiffer sentences.  That's winning however the win comes.

Something has to be done.  I'm tired of writing these, shaking my head and unable to do more than just be pissed.  It's time to give this attention and our best minds.

Friday Morning Happygram

Spoiler alert: the kitty is okay.

SAYBROOK, Ill. -- When firefighter Toni Day was handed a tiny tabby kitten covered in second- and third-degree burns through the window of a burning Saybrook home, she wasn’t too optimistic about its chances.

“I didn’t expect her to survive the night,” said the member of the Gibson City Fire Department.

But nearly three weeks later Dutchess is beating the odds in Urbana at the University of Illinois Veterinary Teaching Hospital, bringing hope to a family that lost nearly everything and winning the hearts of people around the world. A campaign that began on Facebook to collect money for her care has raised about $2,900 of its $5,000 goal, but more still is needed to ensure Dutchess receives necessary treatment that her family cannot afford.

“At 5 pounds, I can’t believe she hung on like she did,” owner Jackie Jones, 27, said of her 8-month-old feline. “Isn’t it amazing — being a little bitty tiny thing?”

Dutchess is doing much better, and can even tolerate affection, which would be a big deal for a poor animal who has gone through so much pain.  She is "eating like a champ" and is expected to make a full recovery.  The kindness and generosity of strangers is such a great thing, it seemed like a good way to kick off the pre-weekend celebrations.

Debate Deblogging

Joe Biden came out swinging in the Vice-Presidential Debate last night, and lord knows he needed to.  Paul Ryan held up for a while, but in the end he faltered under Biden's relentless fact checking.   Biden also scored some crushing blows yesterday.  The transcript, courtesy CNN, is pretty fascinating.

Biden's best attacks came early and often, especially during the foreign policy questions that moderator Martha Raddatz brought up at the beginning.  After Ryan went somewhere over Mars on the administration's response in Benghazi, Joe tore into Paul.

BIDEN: With all due respect, that's a bunch of malarkey.
RADDATZ: And why is that so?
BIDEN: Because not a single thing he said is accurate. First of all...
RADDATZ: Be specific.
BIDEN: I will be very specific. Number one, the - this lecture on embassy security - the congressman here cut embassy security in much for the embassy security piece.
Number two, Governor Romney, before he knew the facts, before he even knew that our ambassador was killed, he was out making a political statement which was panned by the media around the world. And this talk about this - this weakness. I - I don't understand what my friend's talking about here.

But Biden's response to Congressman Ryan's attacks on the stimulus package was the moment of the debates so far.

And I've never met two guys who're more down on America across
the board. We're told everything's going bad. There are 5.2 million
new jobs, private-sector jobs. We need more, but 5.2 million - if
they'd get out of the way, if they'd get out of the way and let us
pass the tax cut for the middle class, make it permanent, if they get
out of the way and pass the - pass the jobs bill, if they get out of
the way and let us allow 14 million people who are struggling to stay
in their homes because their mortgages are upside down, but they never
missed a mortgage payment, just get out of the way.

Stop talking about how you care about people. Show me something.
Show me a policy. Show me a policy where you take responsibility.

And, by the way, they talk about this Great Recession if it fell
out of the sky, like, "Oh, my goodness, where did it come from?" It
came from this man voting to put two wars on a credit card, to at the
same time put a prescription drug benefit on the credit card, a
trillion-dollar tax cut for the very wealthy. I was there. I voted
against them. I said, no, we can't afford that.

And now, all of a sudden, these guys are so seized with the
concern about the debt that they created. 

Just devastating stuff.  Ryan was simply outgunned.

Taegan Goddard at Political Wire starts the pundit roundup after the jump and the reviews are just as bad:

StupidiNews!

• Another US drone strike in Pakistan has apparently killed 16 in the country's rugged tribal regions.
• Vice-President Joe Biden got in shot after shot last night against Rep. Paul Ryan in last night's debate here in Kentucky.
• New jobless claims dropped this week to a 4 1/2 year low as signs the economy continues to improve continue to add up.
• The European Union itself was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, with the award committee citing the EU's commitment to human rights and democracy.
• Six billion people in the world now have a cell phone, including 2 billion combined in India and China.