StupidiNews!

• Congress returns from summer recess for a couple of weeks, but neither side expects any significant legislation to pass during a bitter campaign season.
• The Afghan Taliban is promising to kill newly deployed British Prince Harry, four years after his original Royal Air Force deployment was cut short due to security reasons.
• Royal Dutch Shell becomes the first company to drill offshore along Alaska's Arctic Chukchi Sea coast, with the first wells expected to go into full production next year.
• More government austerity in the UK continues as Business Secretary Vince Cable plans to eliminate "thousands" of health and safety regulations.
• California biologists are tracking honeybees infected with a fly parasite to try to discover how to save hive populations from so-called infested "zombees".