StupidiNews, Inauguration Day Edition!

• Good morning, it's Inauguration Day. We made it.
• Not everyone made it. Remember them.
  
• Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will be sworn in as President and Vice President of the United States at noon today, on 1/20/21, a very cool palindrome date.
  
• Thank God.
• Trump pardoned all kinds of people late last night but not himself or his family.
• Or Rudy, hah.
• So help me if anything stupid happens tomorrow...
• I mean it. 
• GOP Sen. Richard Burr is going to get away with insider trading on COVID stocks after all. 
• Missing Alibaba co-founder Jack Ma is alive after all.
• The DC Court of appeals threw out Trump's terrible "Clean Power Plan" and Joe Biden is free to fix the EPA as soon as he hits the ground.
• But I'm serious about just getting through the next 18 hours, guys.
• Have a good day.