StupidiNews!

• New York Republican Rep. Tom Reed says he will take "full responsibility" for the allegations of 2017 sexual misconduct made by a lobbyist that surfaced last week in the Washington Post.
• A new judicial watchdog report finds that former Trump advisers Jared Kushner and Alan Dershowitz helped outside groups secure 27 pardons from Donald Trump earlier this year.
• Australian disaster officials are evacuating thousands from flooded Sydney suburbs as New South Wales is seeing the worst flooding in over 60 years.
• Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin made an unannounced trip to Afghanistan this weekend as the US is six weeks away from a deadline to remove all remaining 2,500 US troops by May 1.
• The FDA is telling Americans not to drink "alkalized" Real Water as reports of multiple liver failure cases in children are suspected of being linked to the 9.0 pH bottled water product.