StupidiNews, Weekend Edition

• The Large Hadron Collider is offline for a while after the magnets have malfunctioned.
• A University of California study suggests ethnic cleansing was behind lower Iraq violence this year, not the Surge.
• The UberBailout will cost the next President dearly.
• Israel's PM handover process could start as early as Sunday.
• A new report shows the BATF is good at watching alcohol, tobacco and firearms, just not good at watching their own laptops.