On this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s so inexpensive. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.
Of course, to be fair back then people used aspirin for everything: broken bones from unfortunate dirigible accidents, knee injuries suffered while dancing the Charleston, steam burns from auto-velocipedes, sprains from the Dickensian work houses, and various abrasions caused the occasional dinosaur stampede.
Now you kids get off of his lawn, he's missing his RKO Radio Pictures.