School Supply-Side Economics

More and more school districts like St. Clair County, Alabama are asking parents to cover school supply shortfalls.  These days, that means even basic stuff like cleaning supplies and glue.

When Emily Cooper headed off to first grade in Moody, Ala., last week, she was prepared with all the stuff on her elementary school’s must-bring list: two double rolls of paper towels, three packages of Clorox wipes, three boxes of baby wipes, two boxes of garbage bags, liquid soap, Kleenex and Ziplocs.

“The first time I saw it, my mouth hit the floor,” Emily’s mother, Kristin Cooper, said of the list, which also included perennials like glue sticks, scissors and crayons.

Schools across the country are beginning the new school year with shrinking budgets and outsize demands for basic supplies. And while many parents are wincing at picking up the bill, retailers are rushing to cash in by expanding the back-to-school category like never before. 

Gotta love that libertarian utopia we're becoming.  "Let the parents of kids in schools pay for it all, not my tax dollars!"

Pre-kindergartners in the Joshua school district in Texas have to track down Dixie cups and paper plates, while students at New Central Elementary in Havana, Ill., and Mesa Middle School in Castle Rock, Colo., must come to class with a pack of printer paper. Wet Swiffer refills and plastic cutlery are among the requests from St. Joseph School in Seattle. And at Pauoa Elementary School in Honolulu, every student must show up with a four-pack of toilet paper.

For the retailers, back-to-school season is second only to the holidays, and parents’ longer school-supply lists are a bonus — especially at a time when shoppers are reluctant to spend. While the impact is not enormous, retailers are looking for anything to lift sales.

“It’s newfound business that the retailers didn’t have a year or two ago,” said Steve Mahurin, executive vice president of merchandising for Office Depot. 

And see it's good for the economy because it's making parents spend at retailers instead of schools buying it in bulk at a discount!  Get involved!  Guide your kids!  Pull your weight!  Buy toilet paper your school can't afford!  We should be celebrating the fact that we're holding schools accountable for taxpayer money like this and making parents pick up the tab instead of taxpayers!

And hey, if parents can afford all these supplies, then we have room to trim school budgets even more, right?  We should be proud of starving out the government educational beast!  Kids are small anyway, they need to toughen up and learn that life sucks and only through working hard do you get anywhere.  Hey, why have school anyway?  The only real education is a practical education in the concrete jungle.  The ones who thrive will succeed...the rest are parasites, right?

Welcome to Galt Elementary School.  Today's recess will be held in the Gulch.