Friday, October 29, 2010

I'm Going To Get Ginormous Usage Out Of That Centrist Daleks Tag

At least as long as David Brooks is employed, that is.  Allow me to run this week's barbaric yawp through my universal translator.

President Obama is likely to suffer a pummeling defeat on Tuesday. But the road map for his recovery is pretty straightforward. 

I didn't know Obama was running, but okay.

First, the president is going to have to win back independents. Liberals are now criticizing him for being too timid. But the fact is that Obama will win 99.9 percent of the liberal vote in 2012, and in a presidential year, liberal turnout will surely be high. On the other hand, he cannot survive the defection of the independents. In 2008, independent voters preferred Democrats by 8 percentage points. Now they prefer Republicans by 20 points, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News poll. Unless Obama wins back these moderate, suburban indies, there will be a Republican president in 2013. 

"Dear Jane Hamsher, Glenn Greenwald, and anyone who thinks Obama wasn't bold enough in the last two years with his agenda and/or is disappointed with him:  screw you.  You don't matter and never will, only the center matters, love Bobo."

Second, Obama needs to redefine his identity. Bill Clinton gave himself a New Democrat label. Obama has never categorized himself so clearly. This ambiguity was useful in 2008 when people could project whatever they wanted onto him. But it has been harmful since. Obama came to be defined by his emergency responses to the fiscal crisis — by the things he had to do, not by the things he wanted to do. Then he got defined as an orthodox, big government liberal who lacks deep roots in American culture.

"WE HAVE IDENTIFIED THE OBAMA!  THE OBAMA MUST TRIANGULATE!"

Over the next two years, Obama will have to show that he is a traditionalist on social matters and a center-left pragmatist on political ones. Culturally, he will have to demonstrate that even though he comes from an unusual background, he is a fervent believer in the old-fashioned bourgeois virtues: order, self-discipline, punctuality and personal responsibility. Politically, he will have to demonstrate that he is data-driven — that even though he has more faith in government than most Americans, he will relentlessly oppose programs when the evidence shows they don’t work. 

"Screw the gays, screw the Latinos, screw the Krugman Keynesians, screw the Democratic base and especially screw the liberals. We must have a Republican President in 2011 or we will have a Republican President in 2013."

Third, Obama will need to respond to the nation’s fear of decline. The current sour mood is not just caused by high unemployment. It emerges from the fear that America’s best days are behind it. The public’s real anxiety is about values, not economics: the gnawing sense that Americans have become debt-addicted and self-indulgent; the sense that government undermines individual responsibility; the observation that people who work hard get shafted while people who play influence games get the gravy. Obama will have to propose policies that re-establish the link between effort and reward.  

"Kill spending on social programs and privatize everything else.  Your liberal base will go along to prevent President Palin. You don't have a choice.  Time to make the little folks suffer for being debt-ridden consumption addicts through puritan guilt, because I'm not giving up a damn thing."

Fourth, Obama has to build an institutional structure to support a more moderate approach. Presidents come into office thinking that they will be able to go ahead and enact policies. Then they realize that they can only succeed if there is a vast phalanx of institutions laboring alongside them.

Liberals already have institutions. To be a center-left leader, Obama will have to mobilize independent institutions as well. These don’t exist in Washington, but they do around the nation. Civic organizations, local business groups and municipal leagues run from Orlando to Kansas City to Seattle. These groups are filled with local leaders who lobby for balanced budgets, infrastructure plans and other worthy causes. If Obama can mobilize these groups, he would not only build coalitions, but he would help heal the venomous rift between the White House and business, which is a cancer on his presidency. 

"Give big business everything they want.  Everything.  Or they will buy a President who will.  Got it?  Now get to work."

4 comments:

Lowkey said...

Culturally, he will have to demonstrate that even though he comes from an unusual background, he is a fervent believer in the old-fashioned bourgeois virtues: order, self-discipline, punctuality and personal responsibility.

Because what the Tea Partiers and swing voters are really angry about, at the root of it all, is Obama just straight breezing into the Oval minutes after his morning briefing was scheduled to start.

Bonus Bobo points for the same freaking sentence: "What Obama needs to do to reconnect with Average American, USA, is demonstrate that he shares their French Enlightenment philosophical underpinnings."

EVEN MOAR bonus Bobo points for the same... freaking... sentence: "Even though the President came from a less than perfect and less than affluent home life, and worked his way up to President, he needs to demonstrate that he's not out of touch with The American Dream."

Seriously, I've read some mind-blowingly inane Bobo columns in my day, but this one sentence is filled with so much pretentious Serious Villager Fail that this column may take the biscuit.

Yellow Dog said...

Superb translation. Eat your heart out, Bobblespeak.

Anonymous said...

And yet if Republicans win overwhelmingly in 2010 they have a mandate.

Just like Democrats did in 2006, which Bush should have paid attention to, correct?

Just like Democrats did in 2008 and Republicans should have respected that and not tried to filibuster any of that, yes?

So should not Obama respect that and pass legislation from the Republican Congress?

Or do mandates only apply to Democrats?

Anonymous said...

ah, anonymous. you are so stupid. did YOU think that obama and the democrats had a mandate after the 2008 election? i'll bet you didn't. you are an asshole. STFU.

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