StupidiNews, Actual News On April Fool's Day Edition

You know what they say:  truth is stranger than fiction.

• Japanese officials say it may be months or more before refugees from the Sendai quake/tsunami can go home.
• If you want out of your AT&T internet contract, try swearing up a blue streak.
• Libyan Foreign Minister Musa Kusa has defected to Britain, but his definitely checkered past has UK and US officials wanting to ask lots of questions.
• The Manhattan condo market is a microcosm of the national picture as prices crashed the first three months of this year by nearly 10%.
• Jupiter and Saturn's rings both show scars from comet impacts and other astral objects sweeping through the debris.