Get These Emm Effing Snakes In The Emm Effing Government

Republicans are why we can't have nice things.  Take bridges and roads, for example.  But snakes, well, we need more snakes, according to the GOP.

GOP members of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee are incensed over a proposed regulation that would restrict the transportation and importation of nine types of snakes, including the Burmese Python.

In a new report entitled "Broken Government: How the Administrative State has Broken President Obama's Promise of Regulatory Reform," GOP members cited the proposed snake ban as one of seven examples of red tape choking off job growth in an already ailing economy.

One witness invited to testify, snake breeder David Barke, told lawmakers that the rules "threatens as many as a million law-abiding American citizens and their families with the penalty of a felony conviction for pursuing their livelihoods, for pursuing their hobby, or for simply moving with their pet to new state."

Politico reports that Florida officials, led by Sen. Bill Nelson (D-FL), are pushing for the new rules because the Everglades are under attack by 100,000 gigantic Burmese pythons who have been accidentally introduced by negligent pet owners. The outside invaders have been on a rampage, devouring native birds and other creatures. One python grew so big that it managed to devour a six-foot alligator before exploding. No really. This actually happened. There's a photo.

To recap, laws that control your uterus are vital governmental regulations.  Laws that protect you from Burmese pythons eating your pets and small kids, red tape worthy of a second American revolution against the tyrant Obama who broke government.

It's exhausting pointing out the hypocrisy.