Last Call

We'll leave you tonight with Mitt Romney as the embodiment of quantum political science: so completely unknown and unpredictable that he occupies all positions at once and changes policies based on the effects of the observer at any given time.

What does all this bode for the general election? By this point it won’t surprise you to learn the answer is, “We don’t know.” Because according to the latest theories, the “Mitt Romney” who seems poised to be the Republican nominee is but one of countless Mitt Romneys, each occupying his own cosmos, each supporting a different platform, each being compared to a different beloved children’s toy but all of them equally real, all of them equally valid and all of them running for president at the same time, in their own alternative Romnealities, somewhere in the vast Romniverse. 

And all of them losing to Barack Obama. 

Do read the whole thing, it's hysterical.