StupidiNews!

• Police have taken One Goh, a 43-year-old Korean national, into custody after he surrendered to authorities after opening fire at a California Christian college near Oakland, killing 7.
• The meat processing company behind "pink slime" has filed for bankruptcy protection as sales of the filler have all but vanished in the last month.
• California Gov. Jerry Brown is expected to settle on a $68 billion figure for the state's high-speed rail plan, but it faces massive opposition from state Republicans.
• The Kentucky Wildcats ran out to an 18-point lead and held on to win 67-59 over the Kansas Jayhawks, capturing the school's eighth NCAA men's basketball title.
• After years of losing browser market share to rivals Chrome and Firefox, Microsoft's Internet Explorer 9 is gaining ground.