StupidiNews!

• A masked gunman went on a rampage in a suburban mall in Clackamas, Oregon last night, killing 2 and critically wounding another before turning the gun on himself.
• Sitar composer, father of pop star Norah Jones, and Indian music legend, Ravi Shankar, is dead from upper respiratory and heart failure at the age of 92.
• The White House and House Republicans have traded new fiscal slope offers, slightly closer in agreement than last week, but still oceans apart.
• The success of the "50 Shades of Grey" book trilogy has spurred a boom in adult toys for couples this holiday season.
• The European Union has finally agreed to a common patent system for member nations, but there are still several barriers to implementation.