StupidiNews, Weekend Edition!

• Venezuela's Vice President says that President Hugo Chavez's health has taken a significant turn for the worse, and that he is "fighting for his life" following cancer treatment.
• President Obama blasted Congressional Republicans in his weekly address, saying that the current sequestration cuts now in effect must be replaced by "smart" cuts and balanced reforms.
• House Republicans reportedly will introduce an immigration bill next week that will grant citizenship to undocumented immigrants only if they go to the back of the line through existing channels.
• The US State Department's initial report on the controversial Keystone XL pipeline indicates initial approval of the project as environmentally acceptable.
• A federal judge has cut Samsung's billion-dollar patent award to Apple nearly in half, and is ordering a new damages trial on appeal.