Pro tip: Things that can be sung to the tune of the theme song of "Gilligan's Island", most of Emily Dickinson's poetry. Things that cannot be sung well to it? Amazing Grace. Take it away, Sen. Ted Cruz!
My soul hurts. A lot. I thought I would share the pain. At first I thought "This guy couldn't carry a tune in a magnetic containment field specifically designed for convenient transport of musical pieces" but apparently the problem is everything sounds like the theme to Gilligan's Island to the guy.
Is there a classification for that affliction? Cruz Syndrome, perhaps? Who knows.
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Interesting factoid: someone once told me that if you're suffering from "song stuck in your head" syndrome, sing "Amazing Grace" to the "Gilligan's Island" theme song. I tried it; it works, at least for me. You just have to be careful not to get "Amazing Grace sung to 'Gilligan's Island'" stuck in your head. :-)
My advice: just sign the confession. Whatever they do to you will hurt less than listening to Ted Cruz sing.
iirc, u.s. grant said he could only recognize two songs: one was "yankee doodle dandy" and the other wasn't.
Thinking about the line from the "Gilligan's Island" theme about a "...three-hour Cruz..."
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