StupidiNews!

• Ukraine's government is rejecting a vote by lawmakers in the country's Crimea region to secede and join the Russian Federation.
• The FBI is investigating whether Senate Intelligence Committee staffers removed classified documents in order to release information critical of the CIA in a report.
• Cerberus Capital Group will buy California-based Safeway supermarkets in a deal worth $9.4 billion in order to merge the chain with Cerberus-owned Albertson's.
• In a 385-23 vote, the House passed a $1 billion aid package to the Ukrainian government in order to provide loan guarantees and financial stability.
• Sony PlayStation division head Jack Tretton will step down as CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment America after 19 years helming the console's rise in the US.