StupidiNews!

• A research team at the University of Louisville say they've made major progress applying electrical impulses directly to the spinal cord in order to stimulate movement in paralyzed patients.
• The US Navy's new railgun will be test mounted for sea trials in 2016, with the ability to use magnetic forces to propel a 23-pound projectile at seven times the speed of sound.
• Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel's visit to China included tough questions from Chinese media in a joint press conference with Chinese Defense Minister Chang Wanquan.
• Five-time Australian Olympic gold medalist Ian Thorpe's career is over as an infection contracted after shoulder surgery has put him in intensive care.
• Consumerist's Worst Company in America 2014 competition has found cable giant Comcast edging out agriculture giant Monsanto for the dubious honor.