StupidiNews!

• At least nine people are dead after a shootout among at least three rival biker gangs at a Waco, Texas restaurant parking lot.
• Ice cream maker Blue Bell is laying off 1,450 employees after recalling all of its product line as a result of an outbreak of listeria killing three and sickening seven.
• Iraqi PM Haider al-Abadi has called up Shi'ite paramilitary reserves to deploy to Anbar province after the fall of Ramadi to ISIS forces over the weekend.
• Amtrak will resume service from Philadelphia to New York City today after replacing track damaged in last week's fatal derailment.
• Penn State University's College of Engineering was disconnected from the internet to clean up after a pair of  network intrusions, with at least one of the attacks originating in China.