Age Is No Excuse

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (AP) -- A 91-year-old woman who pleaded guilty Thursday to stealing $201,000 from the south Alabama town where she was mayor for three decades paid hush money in a bid to keep her crimes secret, documents showed.

Prosecutors said River Falls Mayor Mary Ella Hixon pleaded guilty to theft and resigned. In exchange, authorities dropped another felony ethics charge.

Circuit Judge Ashley McKathan sentenced Hixon to 10 years in prison but suspended the term because of Hixon's advanced age. She must spend five years on probation.

I'm not saying it's great to have a 91-year-old woman in jail, but neither should someone steal that amount of money and then confess with no repercussions.  Five years of probation?  What is she going to do in her early 90s, start a motorcycle gang?

What really sucks is that while I see why the judge made that call, this woman got away with multiple crimes.

Michael Vick Wins Me Over

I had spoken to Zandar about Vick recently anyway, so this story from TMZ is the perfect chance to speak my mind.  When Vick was found guilty, I was as mad as anyone.  I cried while the story developed, and I was so angry I truly lost sleep over it.

Time went by after Vick got out, and I didn't buy his act.  I was angry, and he hadn't paid enough.  But his actions ever since have been impeccable.  This man learned a lesson.  He did an awful thing, and he came out of it paid in full and a better man.  I believe that, and I had every reason to nurse a grudge.

And then there's this TMZ update:

Michael Vick has finally said squarely ... his family does indeed have a dog.

There's been a lot of controversy over whether Vick -- who served hard time for brutally killing multiple dogs, should own one again.

Vick says, "I understand the strong emotions by some people about our family's decision to care for a pet.  As a father, it is important to make sure my children develop a healthy relationship with animals."

Vick goes on, "I want to ensure that my children establish a loving bond and treat all of God's creatures with kindness and respect.  Our pet is well cared for and loved as a member of our family."

Vick continues, "This is an opportunity to break the cycle.  To that end, I will continue to honor my commitment to animal welfare and be an instrument of positive change."

He is right.  He has shown a truly positive change, sustained over a great length of time.  He is trying to teach his kids better, and you can't do that until you have a pet.  He isn't an ass about the skepticism, he understands it and he speaks frankly about why it's important to break the cycle and do good.  I believe he feels he owes animals some karma.

What say you, readers?  Do you agree, or think he should forfeit his right to pets forever, even for the sake of his kids?

Palin Is Thinning Her Herd

The Immoral Minority has pointed out that Sarah Palin is wasting away.  She has gone from fit to thin to freaking bony.  Rumors had started about her health, but nope.  She's just hawking another damn book.

Sarah Palin debuted a new look in Los Angeles this week: frosted hair, frosted lips, and a thinner figure than she’s had in the past. Turns out, she’s got a new project to go with it — penning a diet and exercise tome.

In an email to People magazine Tuesday, the former Alaska governor and VP candidate wrote, “Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

So if she can't tell the country how to live while milking their wallet, she'll just hit us on an individual level.  Please God, someone shut this woman up already.  The Juneau Jerky will continue to wear skinny jeans and those godawful clog shoes she has taken a shine to.

Maybe she just has some ghostwriter frequent flyer miles to use up before the end of the year.

May The Punishment Fit The Crime

DALLAS (AP) -- A doctor has testified that a Texas mother who glued her 2-year-old daughter's hands to a wall also beat the toddler so badly that she suffered significant brain trauma and bleeding inside her skull.

Elizabeth Escalona pleaded guilty July 12 to injury to a child. The 23-year-old mother is being sentenced Monday. She faces up to life in prison. A state district judge will decide her punishment.

Anyone who can do this to a two-year-old over potty training issues deserves the full punishment.  I really do believe in attempting rehabilitation, but when you are working with someone this diabolical I don't give very good odds.

I hope these poor kids get a family that loves them and treats them well, while they spend a lifetime breaking the cycle of abuse.

I fear what it would do to some states, but for the safety of the kids and the determination of the parent's options, perhaps we should look at a nationwide effort to give parents a place to bring their kids when they are on the edge.  Life is full of stressors and triggers for people who need help.  Increase counseling, or the availability of it.  But with that let it be a two-edged sword.  Parents don't get to claim being overwhelmed or not knowing they had this option.  Some kids are spared, some abusers get stiffer sentences.  That's winning however the win comes.

Something has to be done.  I'm tired of writing these, shaking my head and unable to do more than just be pissed.  It's time to give this attention and our best minds.

Friday Morning Happygram

Spoiler alert: the kitty is okay.

SAYBROOK, Ill. -- When firefighter Toni Day was handed a tiny tabby kitten covered in second- and third-degree burns through the window of a burning Saybrook home, she wasn’t too optimistic about its chances.

“I didn’t expect her to survive the night,” said the member of the Gibson City Fire Department.

But nearly three weeks later Dutchess is beating the odds in Urbana at the University of Illinois Veterinary Teaching Hospital, bringing hope to a family that lost nearly everything and winning the hearts of people around the world. A campaign that began on Facebook to collect money for her care has raised about $2,900 of its $5,000 goal, but more still is needed to ensure Dutchess receives necessary treatment that her family cannot afford.

“At 5 pounds, I can’t believe she hung on like she did,” owner Jackie Jones, 27, said of her 8-month-old feline. “Isn’t it amazing — being a little bitty tiny thing?”

Dutchess is doing much better, and can even tolerate affection, which would be a big deal for a poor animal who has gone through so much pain.  She is "eating like a champ" and is expected to make a full recovery.  The kindness and generosity of strangers is such a great thing, it seemed like a good way to kick off the pre-weekend celebrations.

Debate Deblogging

Joe Biden came out swinging in the Vice-Presidential Debate last night, and lord knows he needed to.  Paul Ryan held up for a while, but in the end he faltered under Biden's relentless fact checking.   Biden also scored some crushing blows yesterday.  The transcript, courtesy CNN, is pretty fascinating.

Biden's best attacks came early and often, especially during the foreign policy questions that moderator Martha Raddatz brought up at the beginning.  After Ryan went somewhere over Mars on the administration's response in Benghazi, Joe tore into Paul.

BIDEN: With all due respect, that's a bunch of malarkey.
RADDATZ: And why is that so?
BIDEN: Because not a single thing he said is accurate. First of all...
RADDATZ: Be specific.
BIDEN: I will be very specific. Number one, the - this lecture on embassy security - the congressman here cut embassy security in much for the embassy security piece.
Number two, Governor Romney, before he knew the facts, before he even knew that our ambassador was killed, he was out making a political statement which was panned by the media around the world. And this talk about this - this weakness. I - I don't understand what my friend's talking about here.

But Biden's response to Congressman Ryan's attacks on the stimulus package was the moment of the debates so far.

And I've never met two guys who're more down on America across
the board. We're told everything's going bad. There are 5.2 million
new jobs, private-sector jobs. We need more, but 5.2 million - if
they'd get out of the way, if they'd get out of the way and let us
pass the tax cut for the middle class, make it permanent, if they get
out of the way and pass the - pass the jobs bill, if they get out of
the way and let us allow 14 million people who are struggling to stay
in their homes because their mortgages are upside down, but they never
missed a mortgage payment, just get out of the way.

Stop talking about how you care about people. Show me something.
Show me a policy. Show me a policy where you take responsibility.

And, by the way, they talk about this Great Recession if it fell
out of the sky, like, "Oh, my goodness, where did it come from?" It
came from this man voting to put two wars on a credit card, to at the
same time put a prescription drug benefit on the credit card, a
trillion-dollar tax cut for the very wealthy. I was there. I voted
against them. I said, no, we can't afford that.

And now, all of a sudden, these guys are so seized with the
concern about the debt that they created. 

Just devastating stuff.  Ryan was simply outgunned.

Taegan Goddard at Political Wire starts the pundit roundup after the jump and the reviews are just as bad:

StupidiNews!

• Another US drone strike in Pakistan has apparently killed 16 in the country's rugged tribal regions.
• Vice-President Joe Biden got in shot after shot last night against Rep. Paul Ryan in last night's debate here in Kentucky.
• New jobless claims dropped this week to a 4 1/2 year low as signs the economy continues to improve continue to add up.
• The European Union itself was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, with the award committee citing the EU's commitment to human rights and democracy.
• Six billion people in the world now have a cell phone, including 2 billion combined in India and China.

Last Call

Dana Milbank may be a nimrod most of the time, but at least he recognized the absurdity of Wednesday's impromptu House Oversight and Government Reform committee hearings where good ol' "national security" Republicans Darrel Issa and Jason Chaffetz all but revealed to the world that yes, the CIA had a facility in the Benghazi, Libya embassy compound.

Through their outbursts, cryptic language and boneheaded questioning of State Department officials, the committee members left little doubt that one of the two compounds at which the Americans were killed, described by the administration as a “consulate” and a nearby “annex,” was a CIA base. They did this, helpfully, in a televised public hearing.

Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) was the first to unmask the spooks. “Point of order! Point of order!” he called out as a State Department security official, seated in front of an aerial photo of the U.S. facilities in Benghazi, described the chaotic night of the attack. “We’re getting into classified issues that deal with sources and methods that would be totally inappropriate in an open forum such as this.”

A State Department official assured him that the material was “entirely unclassified” and that the photo was from a commercial satellite. “I totally object to the use of that photo,” Chaffetz continued. He went on to say that “I was told specifically while I was in Libya I could not and should not ever talk about what you’re showing here today.” 

Well let's see, now why would an innocent-looking annex freak Rep. Chaffetz out?  Well, that's because it wasn't an innocent-looking compound annex.  Who else besides diplomats hang out in embassy compounds?  If you said "duh, the CIA" then congratulations, you're smarter than a Republican.  Libyans knew it.  We of course knew it.  Everybody knows it.  We don't just publicly say "Hey, our spies are hanging out here next to the embassy.  We thought you should know."  That's why we tell people "It's an innocent-looking embassy compound annex" because it's hidden in plain sight.  You're not supposed to confirm this to anyone who is watching.

In other words, Jason Chaffetz just blew the CIA's Libya embassy cover.  In public.  On television.   And people wonder why I think Republicans in Congress are worthless on national security.  They can't even keep their OWN mouths shut.

Now that Chaffetz had alerted potential bad guys that something valuable was in the photo, the chairman, Darrell Issa (R-Calif.), attempted to lock the barn door through which the horse had just bolted. “I would direct that that chart be taken down,” he said, although it already had been on C-SPAN. “In this hearing room, we’re not going to point out details of what may still in fact be a facility of the United States government or more facilities.”

May still be a facility? The plot thickened — and Chaffetz gave more hints. “I believe that the markings on that map were terribly inappropriate,” he said, adding that “the activities there could cost lives.”

All but tipping off anyone with half a brain that the Benghazi annex was in fact the CIA's little home in Libya.  Good work, moron.  What started out as yet another of Issa's witch hunts against the Obama administration, this time against Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, has now turned into Republicans pointing out just where our CIA spies are hanging out in Benghazi.

Just thinking about it gives me a headache.

An Assault On The Common Senses

"Real Housewives of Miami" star Peter Rosello was arrested for battery today after socking a homeless man in the balls last week, this according to law enforcement.

20-year-old Rosello -- the son of housewife Alexia Echevarria -- was arrested for simple battery, which was categorized as a felony on the police report because Rosello attacked a homeless person.

He snuck up on an innocent man and punched him in the groin.  A privileged brat with the soul of a turnip exposed the worst of himself, and was caught on camera.

What a jackass.  I hope he serves time for it, and learns a lesson.

In another case of "simple assault" a teen is arrested for sucker punching a random person in the street, who just happened to be a teacher.   The man was walking in downtown Pittsburgh when the teenager attacked.  There is no word on what will happen to the teen, but the teacher will likely never see justice for what happened to him one random crazy day.

Alex Karras 1935 - 2012

His rendering of his own roguish personality led to several appearances on “The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson,” and in the 1970s he played numerous guest roles on series television, on shows like “McMillan & Wife,” “Love, American Style,” “M*A*S*H” and “The Odd Couple,” in which he played a comically threatening man-mountain, the jealous husband of a woman who had become friendly with Felix (Tony Randall). Perhaps most memorably, he played Mongo, a hulking subliterate outlaw who delivers a knockout punch to a horse, in the Mel Brooks Western spoof “Blazing Saddles.”

In 1975 he played George Zaharias, the husband of the champion track star and golfer Babe Didrikson Zaharias, in the television movie “Babe.” The title role was played by Susan Clark, who became his wife, and from 1983 to 1989, they starred together in the gentle sitcom “Webster,” about a retired football player who takes in a black boy (Emmanuel Lewis), the orphaned young son of a former teammate.

But Karras, at 6 feet 2 inches and 248 pounds — large then but smaller in comparison with today’s N.F.L. linemen — first earned fame as a ferocious tackle for the Lions. He anchored the defensive line for 12 seasons over 13 years, 1958 to 1970.

Karras was an awesome character, and you would be surprised at how much he did.  The full article does a terrific job of listing his acting and sports credentials.  Some I never knew, many I had long forgotten.  He was settling down and relatively quiet by the time I was born.  What I will always remember him for are the Johnny Carson appearances.  He had so much charisma, and was ruthlessly and fearlessly honest.  He may not have always been popular, but he had a strict zero-tolerance policy for BS.

I'll miss the old guy.

Mom Gives Her 11-Year-Old A Tattoo

A North Carolina mother was arrested after she gave her 11-year-old daughter a small heart-shaped tattoo near her shoulder, authorities said.

Odessa Clay, 30, of Greensboro, N.C., faces one count of tattooing a person under age 18.

It is illegal to tattoo a minor in North Carolina, regardless of parental consent.

The Havelock Police Department charged Clay, who has a few tattoos of her own, with the offense in late September.

In her defense, Clay said she did not know tattooing a minor, especially her own daughter, was illegal.

The phrasing is a little ambiguous.  It's hard to tell whether the mother tattooed the girl herself or merely took her to get it done.  If she took her somewhere, you would think they would know the law.  If she did it herself, I would imagine the health and hygiene issues equally important.

Either way, I'm frankly surprised it's against the law even with parental consent.  That was what got my attention even over the stupidity of putting a permanent mark on an 11-year-old girl.

Am I old fashioned?  Maybe.  I have several tattoos, all but one in easily hidden places.  I regret a few, not all.  But then I was also old enough to have known better, and this little girl doesn't even have that going for her.

Tell Me All Your Thoughts On God

LONDON — A letter in which Albert Einstein dismissed the idea of God as a product of human weakness is being sold on eBay for a starting price of $3 million.

The letter, handwritten in 1954, a year before Einstein's death, was addressed to philosopher Eric Gutkind. In it, Einstein discussed his views on religion, including calling "the Bible a collection of honorable but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish."

An anonymous collector who bought the letter in 2008 is putting it on sale on online auction site eBay from Monday. The auction closes Oct. 18.

The Scream, and now this.  Why oh why can't I have millions just sitting around for times like this.

Seriously, Einstein was an amazing person, and anything from his hand would be of great value.  His ideas may cause discussion, which causes thinking, which is what Einstein would enjoy.

I Beg To Differ, Madam

A 23-year-old Texas mother who beat her daughter and glued her hands to a wall told a Dallas judge on Wednesday that she was a monster a year ago, but she has changed.

"Elizabeth Escalona is not a monster," she said of herself, according to a tweet by Dallas Morning News' crime reporter Scott Goldstein. "I want everybody to know that I'm not a monster. I love my kids. I love my babies."

Well, I hate to be the one to point out that you glued her hands to the wall and she lost skin.  I'd also not like to rehash the coma or the bleeding on the brain, or the bite marks.  No amount of counseling stops that.  You have to want to protect your children enough to take steps before it gets that far, or face the consequences.

Good people do bad things sometimes.  They don't do things so awful that a child's skin is peeled or put their kid in a coma.  Nobody is all good or all evil, but in her case the scales are indeed tipped towards monster.  Nothing less than a monster could have done such a thing.  A year doesn't bring an emotional and intellectual turnaround.  Even if it did, that little girl faced a monster that day, and this woman should pay for her actions no matter how sane and kind she's feeling now.

Lancing The Boil

The case that Lance Armstrong's entire cycling career was nothing but doping fueled cheating was laid out this week in a new report by the US Anti-Doping Agency, and it's pretty brutal across the board.

Armstrong used the banned drugs erythropoietin, or EPO, and testosterone, provided EPO to teammates and administered testosterone on at least one occasion, according to USADA. His teammate George Hincapie said Armstrong tranfused blood in every Tour de France from 2001 through 2005. He won all those races. Signs also point to Armstrong still blood-doping in 2009 and 2010, according to Christopher Gore, head of physiology at the Australian Institute of Sport.

“USADA found proof beyond a reasonable doubt that Lance Armstrong engaged in serial cheating through the use, administration and trafficking of performance-enhancing drugs and methods and that Armstrong participated in running the U.S. Postal Team as a doping conspiracy,” USADA concluded. “So ends one of the most sordid chapters in sports history.”

Armstrong has repeatedly denied doping, saying he has never failed a drug test, and today his lawyer Timothy Herman called the USADA case “a government-funded witch hunt.”

Armstrong, 41, was banned for life from competitive cycling and all other Olympic-related sports and stripped of his Tour de France titles on Aug. 23 after opting not to fight USADA’s allegations. 

I have no sympathy for the guy.  Cancer or not, this guy's as crooked as they come.  He ran his entire team as a doping conspiracy to win at all costs, and in the end he finally got caught.  The fact that Armstrong refuses to contest the Tour de France wins pretty much seals it.

It's a sad story, but it's a 200-page report.  It doesn't look like they USADA was just idling messing around, either.

Chalk up another sports hero that was too good to be true...or honest, for that matter.

StupidiNews!

• The housing market continues to show signs of recovery as foreclosures have fallen to their lowest level since 2007.
• Wal-Mart worker strikes originating in Illinois and California have now spread to 28 stores in 12 states.
• Conservatives on the Supreme Court signaled through tough questions that the days of affirmative action in college admissions may be coming to an end.
• Ratings agency S&P has downgraded Spain's credit to one notch above junk status, putting European markets in turmoil again as the ECB's plan to buy Spanish bonds is unraveling.
• New graphene foam batteries may be the key to new fast charging technology that has the lifespan of Lithium batteries, but charges in 15 minutes.