Post-Election Winners And Losers

First, The Winners:

1. The Village: They remember what it was like to have some hick Democrat from Arkansas try to run DC rather then them. They will dust off the Clinton playbook and apply it to Obama, which will suit...

2. Hillary: just fine. Ask Ted Kennedy about a 40-year dream deferred. Not our Hillary. She's going to be setting herself up as the Sensible Centrist Alternative to Obama from day one. You think she just forgot Plan 2012? She knows the drill, as do...

3. El Rushbo, Drudge And Friends: FOX just became the snappy counter culture freedom fighters to Obama's Scary Nubian Army. They will be mobilizing big time. These folks made their bones off trying to destroy Clinton: Rush, Hannity, Savage, Tweety and Morning Joe, and now the Right Blogosphere will back them up to rule the Village and tell them how to attack. The war is on for these guys and they couldn't be happier about it, and their The One?

4. Sister Sarah Palin: Palin's '08 VP speech to them was Obama's '04 DNC speech to us. She's going to be with us a long, long time, kids, and she's leading the Purge of the Moderates. She will galvanize the New GOP as the Brave Resistance to Obama's tyranny and oppression. You thought the GOP was a bunch of racist assholes before? You ain't seen nothing yet.

On the other side are The Losers:

1. John Sidney McLoser III: One has to die so that the rest may live. Bob Dole'd out of the GOP and politics, he may not even serve out his Senate term. Perhaps he can vacation with...

2. Dubya Also Kryptonite to the new GOP. He'll get sick of the Democratic pity shown to him, regarding him as a horse that needs to be put down. The rest of DC will stop returning his calls and tell him to get the hell out and take McLoser with him. Will probably end up doing interviews with...

3. Keith Olbermann Yes, I'm listing him as a loser. He's got nothing to do now: Stewart and Colbert are funnier, Rachel Maddow is much smarter, and without Bush to scream at he's got two choices: Press Mouthpiece of the Obama Administration or attack him from the Left. The former will kill his ratings, the latter he doesn't have the temperament for, and either way he risks descending into self-parody. (Some say "too late!") But the biggest loser may be...

4. Progressives We'd better figure out damn fast what Obama's real plans are now that he's in charge, or we'll get hung out to dry in a New York Minute should Obama decide to play the DC Dems favorite game: Triangulation! White House Edition. The Big Dog left Progressives to die and the end result was impeachment followed by Dubya. History's given us a rare second chance...but it's given a lot of folks a second chance to stop us.

Time to go to work. Frame the newspaper, enjoy your drink, then dig in. The real fight starts now.