StupidiNews, President's Day Edition

• The NATO/U.S. offensive in the Afghan city of Marjah is now in the "clearing phase" but there is slow going as IED's and other traps await troops.
• Flash flooding in Haiti is causing more problems as a million Haitians continue to lack basic shelter.
• California real estate investors are paying cash for homes now worth a fraction of the value they had 4 years ago.
• Secretary of State Clinton warns that Iran is becoming a military dictatorship.
• The US ends an 84-year medal drought in the Nordic Combined event in Vancouver as Johnny Spillane takes the silver, Americans finish 2-4-6.