Hair Shirt And Flogger Not Included

Rick Santorum has figured out the key to solving America's problems here in the depths of the worst economic quagmire in generations: Get used to the suffering, it's good for you.

During a town hall meeting in Ottumwa, Iowa Friday afternoon, Rick Santorum argued that Americans receive too many government benefits and ought to “suffer” in the Christian tradition. If “you’re lower income, you can qualify for Medicaid, you can qualify for food stamps, you can qualify for housing assistance,” Santorum complained, before adding, “suffering is part of life and it’s not a bad thing, it is an essential thing in life.”

Such is the lot of the peasant in the Kingdom Of Froth And Lube. If the invisible sky dude wanted you to be rich, you'd have money. Since you're not, please take comfort in the fact that you're meant to hurt. It'll build character. Please pay no attention to the people raiding the treasury and saying we need to make more peasants suffer, I'm sure they have an excellent reason for not going through any of the standard character-building suffering exercises along with you.

Now do get back to work.