Helicopter Parents Doing No Favors

As advocates of parent-child rough-and-tumble play, we have often bumped up against the bubble-wrapping tendencies of the helicopter parent. So when Merriam-Webster announced recently that helicopter parent is now a bona fide entry in their dictionary, we took notice. The concept — a parent who is overly involved in the life and safety of his or her child — surely predates the first known use of the phrase, in 1989. But official inclusion in the dictionary suggests that helicoptering is not just a fad that will go out of style. In fact, more and more parents seem to be in hover mode these days, but the trend is worth standing up to. Because the truth is that children benefit from precisely the opposite of helicoptering: rowdy, physical, interactive play — or roughhousing. Roughhousing between parent and child, not helicoptering, makes kids smart, emotionally intelligent, likable, ethical and physically fit

Helicopter parents might argue that roughhousing can cause bumps and bruises, but the other possible effects of helicoptering could be far worse. A recent Journal of Evolutionary Psychology article described that when children are helicoptered away from all risk, they aren’t safer, they are just more anxious. If they are never allowed to scale a jungle gym or have the chance to wrestle with their parents or another child, they are unable to develop appropriate coping mechanisms for failure, hurt or disappointment. They also have a harder time with confidence, courage and creativity.

Learning how to cope with life and all that it brings is a life skill that is being overlooked. Sometimes things don't make sense, and sometimes we have to rely on ourselves because we're alone when disaster strikes. Kids need the confidence in knowing they can take care of themselves, to deprive them of that is doing harm.