The Michael Jackson Case

I have always loved Michael Jackson.  I loved his voice, but that was probably the least thing I loved about him as I grew up with him through his many phases as an artist.  I truly admired his dancing, the fact that his body just randomly fired into action, and his ability to carry any rhythm is something professional dancers spend lifetimes honing.  He was on target from five years old, and never so much as stumbled in his art.

But there was a dark side to the Jacksons, and over decades we have watched it unravel.  We know his father beat them all brutally, and that their mother's love was conditional on meeting her expectations.  All of the kids were damaged from this, but Michael did seem the most affected of them all.  He never had a childhood, and spent his adult life chasing a childhood that he imagined as perfect and free of responsibility.  We'll never know for sure about the accusations against him, but in my heart I felt he was innocent, lost and exploited.

He was also looking for an escape.  This isn't the behavior of  a man who discovered a drug late in life.  These are the actions of a man who has spent a lifetime hiding and looking for a way to escape his world.  He built a property around lost youth, and was obsessed with returning to childhood.  The drug was nothing but a way to not worry.  To get away.

Michael Jackson was a desperately unhappy man.  I don't think he knew this was a form of suicide, but I don't see how it could have ended any other way.  He wasn't determined to die, but to escape.  Through Conrad Murray he got the release he wanted, and in the end he escaped this world for good.  Murray is guilty, but in a way he is a victim too.  He served a patient who wanted the impossible.  He should have refused to go along, but the reality is someone would have provided, and this would have ended with the same results.  The only thing that might have changed was the doctor on the stand.

It also bothers me to see the family milk his death through merchandise and lawsuits.  They act pained, they are really panicked.  Their cash cow, the golden goose, the guy who brought it all together, is gone. I hate to sound jaded, but it's so clear to me that they loved him but they loved the money and fame a whole lot more.  It all seems to be fear regarding money and how they will continue, not missing their beloved Michael, the little boy with the million dollar smile.

This is a sad story for everyone involved, no matter how you tell it.  Conrad Murray is surely guilty, but Michael Jackson's tragic life was headed towards an inevitably tragic end.  I expect Murray to be found guilty, but his prison time won't put anything right.  The Jacksons say they want justice, but justice would have been a little boy getting the love and support he needed decades ago.  He wasn't just allowed to be a child, he was never allowed to be a human being.