Sixty Bucks Well Spent

Thanks to one stuffy, bossy old hag, it is now a $20 fine to use swear words in public in Middleborough, MA.  They don't actually tell you what words, because that's just crazy (and they would have to be written out!).  In fact, the cops get to decide when and if to enforce the law.  So you never really know if you're in trouble, until someone decides you're in trouble.

In Springfield, there are laws that forbid lying on the grass in Park Central Square.  Technically, you can't splash or touch the fountain, and you can't throw balls or frisbees.  You can see those things taking place regularly, kids love water and everyone loves a game of catch.  And hey, aren't we supposed to be outside more, relax in some sunshine and enjoy the smell of the grass?  You bet!  Until someone decides they want you to leave, in which case the cops chase off undesirables.  These ambiguous convenience laws are made to be exploited, designed for arbitrary enforcement.

This one goes directly against the First Amendment, not that it slowed her down any.  There are at least 183 people who need a basic refresher in what they can, and cannot control.

"Dropping F-bombs and so on. It was the same group of kids. It was very irresponsible behavior, and it was getting out of hand."

The ordinance does not specify which curses are banned, and police can decide whether to ticket offenders.

Legal analysts said the law could raise issues for the town under the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Part of the Bill of Rights, the amendment prohibits the making of any law that abridges freedom of speech, among other things.

DuPhily said her support for the law, which passed 183-50 at the meeting, has made her an object of ridicule in the media.

"The talk radio is making hysterical fun of me. They're calling me the granny-nanny," she said. "People didn't know what to do. They felt uncomfortable walking down the street with their kids."

Granny nanny?  How dare they?  Hey, try this on for size: kiss my dimpled, lily-white ass.  You look like ten pounds of asshole shoved into a five pound bag.  How are you gonna beautify that, you controlling, self-righteous she-bitch?

It would be worth every nickel.