Going All In While Going Over The Edge

Newt Gingrich pushes all of his credibility chips (all one of them) into the national security argument pot while holding an off-suit 2-7 level screed over at Human Events.

Over eight years after 9/11 and 30 years after the Iranian illegal seizure of the United States embassy and the 444 day Iranian hostage crisis, Washington is still avoiding being intellectually honest about the war we are in.

A war where men in funny underwear terrify Newt to the point of pissing his own funny underwear, apparently.

The scale, persistence and sophistication of the enemy requires an honesty, a clarity, and a scale appropriate to the response.

We need more people in funny underwear in Tehran's airport.

Today, because our elites fear politically incorrect honesty, they believe that it is better to harass the innocent, delay the harmless, and risk the lives of every American than to do the obvious, the effective, and the necessary.

Because as we all know, the real way to avoid harassing the innocent is to simply declare all Muslims in the country as guilty.

(More snark after the jump...)

We know they have an ideology which is anti-female, desires to impose fundamentalist Sharia as a form of law, is hostile to other religions and is prepared to kill the innocent to achieve their goals.

But enough about the GOP platform in 2010.

The United States should track down the owners of every website that promotes terrorism and systematically root them out.  It should be as dangerous to a person promoting terrorism as it is to execute an act of terrorism.

Burnt crotches for everyone!  We have the technology.

It should be reasonable for the flying public to have expected that when the Nigerian terrorist's father reported he was going to a terrorist training camp he should automatically have been barred from getting a visa and from flying into the United States.

It should also be reasonable to the flying public that the bar for not being able to fly into the United States should be higher than "What your dad says about you."

Americans should also note that ABC News is reporting that two of the plotters to blow the Amsterdam to Detroit flight out of the air were released from Guantanamo in 2007, attended an “art rehabilitation program” in Saudi Arabia, were released and took up senior leadership positions in al Qaeda in Yemen.  Americans should also know that nearly half of the remaining detainees in Guantanamo are from Yemen.

Americans should also know that the President and administration that released these two guys from Gitmo were Republicans.  It's amazing how Obama is being blamed for this.  Apparently he was retroactively President in some sort of accident involving a time machine and Thomas Jefferson's Qu'ran.

Moreover, the report that 74 Guantanamo detainees who have been released are back in the war trying to kill Americans should stop any further effort to close Guantanamo or to release terrorists.

Terrorists recycle, the green hippie bastards.  We must stop them from getting more funny underwear.

The Attorney General and every Justice Department appointee whose law firms provided pro bono counsel for terrorists should be fired and replaced with lawyers who believe the lives of Americans are more important than the rights of terrorists.

And they need to believe their clients are guilty and refuse to defend them, because nobody innocent ever ended up in Gitmo.

Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano's claim that the Detroit bomber was allowed to board a plan with explosives hidden in his underwear proved the system worked is proof we need a new Homeland Security Secretary who knows we need a new strategy and a new focus.

A new focus on the elimination of banana warmers.

These are the first steps toward defeating the extremists.

We should take them before there is a tragic attack that kills a lot of people.

Like the Republicans did before 9/11.

We have been warned. Again.

Will we now act?

Your friend,

In the future, I plan to fly without underwear like my friend Newt rpjin here.