Pete Hoekstra Is A Single Point In Spacetime, And Is Not Goo

There is no past for GOP Rep. Pete Hoekstra, only the infinite reality of the naked now (Marcy Wheeler via Spencer Ackerman)

Just take a look at these traitorous accusations a certain Congressperson made about the CIA yesterday:

misleading and some might say lying to Congress by the intel community

The [intelligence] community covered it up,

this committee can’t do its job if you don’t share information with us

What is the community unwilling to share with this committee? What policies can’t pass public scrutiny or pass the scrutiny of this committee?

ZOMG! Congressperson, you just accused the CIA of lying to Congress!! You can’t do that!! Remember what Crazy Pete Hoekstra said about such disloyal accusations when beating up on Nancy Pelosi this spring!

She made some outrageous accusations last week where she said that the CIA lied to her and lied systematically over a period of years. That is a very, very serious charge.

It is downright outrageous that a Congressperson would make such brash accusations. Last spring, Crazy Pete even suggested that making such outrageous accusations might require the Congressperson making such claims resign.

Crazy Pete? Will you please tell Crazy Pete that he should stop making such accusations about CIA lying to Congress?

Ahh, but this is impossible as clearly Crazy Pete and Crazy Pete cannot simultaneously exist in the same time in the same place, otherwise they cause a paradox and turn into goo like Ron Silver did in Timecop.  Since Pete Hoekstra is clearly not a pile of goo (physically anyway, mentally the jury is still out) then they have not met yet.

It would be a lot easier to one of Hoekstra's aides to use Google once in a while.

It would even easier for Pete Hoekstra not to be such a completely self-serving lying asshole in the first place.