Mark Halperin: Professional Douchecapacitor

I’m trying to figure out what Time’s Mark Halperin’s problem here is this morning with his bleating about Bain and how Mean Old Obama shouldn’t be trying to win or anything and should assume the position like a good Centrist Dem, but then I recall that the passive-aggressive Halperin is a douchecapacitor that stores grudges against the President and occasionally discharges his anger in order to keep from overloading and detonating like he did with the whole unfortunate “Obama is a dick” incident.  Here’s the opening of his salvo today:

Pause for two beats and pay Prizzi’s Honor-style homage to the ruthless killing machine that is the combined White House-Chicago operation.

Just no.  We’re really saying Romney’s decade-long self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot is Obama’s fault, ten years after the fact?

 

They have parceled out their opposition research in a manner both strategic and tactical, selecting specific news organizations at times of their choosing to maximize the drip-drip-drip of the twin stories. They have used left-leaning Web outfits as recipients of over-the-transom gifts as effectively (cumulatively) as the Romney campaign uses Drudge. And they have seen the Boston Globe use its credibility to drive a ton of news.

Remember, there’s no difference between Drudge and MSNBC, they’re both full of propaganda partisans, unlike me, Mark Halperin.  You can trust me, not those awful lying partisans who are not Mark Halperin.  Remember, I think that Obama is just as bad for pointing out Romney’s idiocy as Romney is for being an idiot.  I’m a Centrist.

 

The Obamans have dominated numerous consecutive news cycles since the last unemployment numbers came out. And there is more to come for sure. The Gang of 500 is confident it is just a matter of time before Romney relents and puts out additional years of tax returns, an eventuality that the Obama campaign will drag out for days. When some said that the Bain issue was burning out through its use by Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, and others in the nomination fight, Chicago was quietly confident the matter could be easily revived with new information and heavy advertising — and Chicago was right. And, make no mistake, the Obamans are sitting on even more research that they will unfurl down the road.

The rest of the GOP Clown Car Cavalcade couldn’t stick the knife in like that dick Obama. He’s just as bad if not worse than they are.  You should be careful around him or you’ll get CHICAGOED by OBAMANS.

 

From the President, to Joe Biden, to senior White House aides, to the entire re-elect operation — there has been impressive coordination on every one of their Bain-tax return hits, and there’s no reason to think that the teamwork will stop.

Teamwork is another word for thuggery.  CHICAGOED BY BIDEN.

 

So why is Halperin working the refs here when Halperin is the ref?  Real simple, he has to make up for this:

 

Halperin tweeted Sunday that he was uncomfortable with his image being used to back up a political point from the Romney campaign.

“To echo what NBC News’ Tom Brokaw said in January, when his image and voice were used in a Romney campaign TV ad, ‘I am extremely uncomfortable with the use of my personal image in this political ad. I do not want my role as a journalist compromised for political gain by any campaign,” Halperin said in a series of tweets.

So yeah, he can’t be IN THE TANK FOR OBAMA, so we get this mealy mouthed passive-aggressive bullshit.  The Douchecapacitor strikes again.  And now he has credibility where he can say “Hey I stayed out of this mess!” while continuing to attack the President he loathes.

It’s a good job if you can get it.